A Great Lost
by IchikawaTheColdEye
Summary: 3 years ago I watched my brother die right before my eyes along with our archenemy. But what if I said that the terror wasn’t over? That it just had begun and that my brothers and I soon would face the most terrifying choice in our lives?
1. Chapter 1

Note: I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or the characters, this is just a fanfic that I made.

Hope you like it, please R&R ^^

(I've made some small changes like spelling and grammar, and I have put in some more sentences, or changed some. But it's still the same as before, is's not a big change)

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Chapter 1: Seeing the City of New York

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Seein' the city in this state of mind, makes me wonder how little humans really know of. They walk the world as they are the only livin' thing in it. They know of everythin' that happens on the surface, all deaths and all born, every little changes that the world makes. Well, just what includes 'em, all the threats and benefits for the human world. But the things that appears under the surface is a mystery for 'em as one big change happened nineteen years ago. Four green mutant turtles and one big old rat made the sewers their home. Cursin' the human world as we had to obey the human their right of walking on the surface, and we had to hide in the sewers like disgustin' cockroaches. I never forgave the humans for that.

Watchin' the humans walkin' around on the streets of New York City is still punchin' my anger in the back of my mind. By sittin' on this rooftop lookin' down on 'em makes me feel powerful. A feelin' the green mutant hotheaded turtle that I am just love. But not all the humans are the same dog shit. No in fact, 2 of my very best friends are humans. Without them it would be hard to live. I don't even remember how my life looked like before we meet them. And especially now as the most terrible thing that could happen, happened.

Three years are a long, very long time. It's hard to move on, especially when you're as stubborn as I am. But right now I wished that my mind hadn't its will on its own and wasn't this obstinate. The memories hunt me more than I ever will admit. The pain and guilt just won't fade away. And gosh the nightmares, I'm just so tired that I could fall asleep everywhere, but that won't last too long as the nightmares of that night just won't stop. Remindin' me every day that it should've been me, it was my fault. My down fall. But no, he had to play the hero and played with destinies life plan.

The rage is forcing my body to take up my saisand turn around, and throw the weapons at the wooden box at the other side of the roof. Clenchin' my fists in anger I'm walkin' towards the box. Pullin' out my pressures weapon and placin' 'em back in my belt. The anger is just a way for me to grief. Even while I'm alone I can't manage to sob, not a single tear has passed my cheeks.

Returnin' to the spot I just left, my eyes fell down on the city. I'm just realizeing how the city hasn't notice the changes from that night. Three long years has passed and no one ever noticed. The only thing they know about is Saki's "horrible" death. Kiss my ass, the guy did nothin' else than deserved it. If ya ask me it wasn't enough horrible. I sure hope he's burnin' in hell. As the memories popped up in my head, my eyes reaching the roof 2 blocks away. So close, but yet not far enough. I don't know why I'm returnin' to this place when it just brings back the painful memories. Everyday I'm visitin' this damned place, maybe to be forgiven, maybe I think the pain would be less, or maybe I just won't accept the fact that he's gone.

Lookin' up at the sky, while the clouds over me cry out in a thunder that sounds like it is in pain and the rain starts to fall. The whole city drowns in the water from the heavens. Lookin' down on the streets, I'm watchin' how the humans is runnin' away from the cooling-purifying-soft raindrops. Mother Nature have to be grievin' for me as she must have realized that I will not shred a single tear. Her rain drops feels so smooth on my skin, coolin' it down from my hotheaded anger. It feels good, like the pressure of grief and pain fading away, but just barely.

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I'm standing in the rain for almost ten minutes before I realize how late it is. The sun startin' to rise and pushin' away the night. I know that I have to get back before the city starts to wake up. Not to mention my family will be pissed if I come home late again. Especially when it is Leo's birthday today and we all should be at April's when the dark falls.

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I barely made it back before five thirty. It is quiet in the lair but the TV is lightnin' up the main room. I could hear Mike's loud snoring even from the sewers, and in the same room it's like a horn. I'm walkin' up to the couch and watchin' my little brother sleep. I can hear he mumble somethin' between the snorin', but I can't tell what. I'm takin' the remote from his right hand that's dangling at the floor. I'm turnin' off the TV and puttin' the remote on the table. I'm headin' to the stairs and as soon that I take my left foot on the first step, I can feel how my mind startin' to drift off to the world of slumber. I'm barely manage to get to my bed before I'm fallin' too slumber off to the dreamin' world. But in my case, nightmares.

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I really hoped you liked it, and please tell me what you think of it. I would help me so much ^^

The next chapter is in working progress and I'll try my hardest to get it up as soon as possible.

Please review =}


	2. Chapter 2

Hi there, here's the next chapter again. Well, I did fix the grammar and the spelling, as much as I could anyway. Unlike the first chapter, I've changed this a bit more. I've put in some new words and sentences, but it's still the same story, just a few differences.

And THANKS for the reviwes, I'm really glad you like it.

Hope you like this one too ^^

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Chapter 2:

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It was quiet in the lair when Donnie got out of his room. Still very sleepy he walked his way to the kitchen with a hand in front of his mouth as he yawned. He needed coffee if his mind were supposed to wake up completely. Putting the black coffee powder in the thermos while he counted the spoonfuls, he looked at the calendar. It was then he remembered what day it was, May 16, Leo's birthday. Lower he's eyes he gave a sad emotional look. Putting down the can, he made his way over to the table, waiting for the coffee to be done.

While he waited his mind drifted off. Knowing what day it was made him think of that day. Recalling the memories, as his mind went through it again.

The mixed smell of blood and rain consumed him. A kick and a strike, and he went kneeling on his knees. His vision went fuzzy.

Horrified of the recalling, his eyes blackened and his face went pale. He snapped out of it with fear in his eyes.

"Wow Don, what happened to yo?" Mike asked worried when he entered the room. "Yo look like yo seen a ghost."

He calmed down a little and put his right hand on his forehead as he answers. "Yeah, well, it's nothing." Looking at the thermos he saw that the coffee was done. He stood up and got a coffee mug.

"It had to be something, yo can tell me, I promise not to say anything to Raph." Mike gave him a promising smile. But everyone that knows Mike, are well aware that it is a lost cost to tell him a secret. Even if it didn't matter if he knew or not, he wasn't sure if he even wanted to tell the youngest turtle about it. "Come on, Donnie." The smile widened on his lips.

He knew that he would disappoint him if he told him. That smile would die faster than a racer car could drive. But Mike wouldn't leave him alone, not even for a bit if he didn't say anything, and he had to work. "Yeah, I saw a ghost." Donnie said and gave him a smile. He couldn't tell him about the flashback. That was the last thing Mike needed to hear, especially when Mike had his own problems with his nightmares.

"Yeah, right." Mike's smile died and he put on a serious and disappointed look on his feature. He took his bowl of cereals and walked to the table. He sat down on his chair and looked at Donnie.

"What?" He asked and sat down on his chair. He could tell by his youngest sibling's look that he knew. Mike wasn't stupid even if he appeared to be that way, he just didn't want to take the responsibility by growing up, but he had his moments.

"Yo can't fool me Donnie, I know yo had a flashback." He said with a serious tone in his voice.

"Then why did you ask if you already knew?"

"Well, I don't know. You looked so scared."

Donnie looked at his brother as he lowered his head. He took one sip from his bitter-black-liquid in his cup and felt how it warmed him up inside. Lately he been feeling a little bit freezing, and started to wonder if he had caught a cold. Putting down the cup on the table he gave Mike a smile and said; "Well, it's nothing. I know it's hard sometimes, but it's nothing that we can't handle. All we've to do is to remember the good memories."

Mike looked up and gave him an understandable smile and nodded. "Yeah"

"What good memories?" Raph asked when he entered the kitchen.

"Nothing" Donnie replayed and took a sip again. "Where were you last night?"

"Out" Was his only replay.

"Yo were at the roof again, weren't yo?" Mike interfered.

"What the shell, is this some kinda interrogation?" Raph asked angry. "You're not Leo, so don't act like 'im. What I do is my own damned business."

"Whatever yo say, dude" Mike said and stood up. He walked to the sink and put down the bowl.

"Hey, have anyone got something for Leo?" Donnie asked. Both of his brothers gave him a surprising look. "It's his birthday today, remember? We're supposed to be at April's tonight."

"Ow yeah. I got something" Mike said hesitating and rolling his eyes as he was thinking. Before anyone could open their mouth, Mike had left the kitchen in a hurry.

"Yeah, one of my old toys" Raph replayed. Donnie looked at Raph. He could see that something's bothering him, and he knew exactly what it was, so he didn't bother asking, it wouldn't make Raph open up about his problems anyway.

"I have to work" He said instead and walked out of the kitchen heading for his computer. Even how much he wished that he could skip it, he had to. People had their problems with their computers, and he was the one they called about it. He really hated it but he had to do something. Just walking around in the lair would be killing him. It wasn't much he could do anyway, with Leo gone, the family was falling apart. Mike had his job as a clown for birthday parties, Master Splinter tried to keep the family together but what can an old rat do about three teenagers? And Raph slept all day while he was out all night sitting on the roof. They all knew about it even if he'd deny it.

Starting his computer, he took a sip of his coffee. He could hear Mike running around in his room, throwing things around. A little smirk crawled up on his lips as he knew that Mike hadn't got anything for Leo yet. And it was a little too late now as it was morning, and he couldn't get out until the sun had set. His computer had started and it was time to work.

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I was the only one in the kitchen now, not that I didn't mind, I like to be alone. Being around my family is hard enough. My eyes fell down on the floor in disturbance, knowin' what day it is. It just feels so wrong, Leo's birthday and he's not even here. I let myself spacin' out for a minute, back to the good old days when we were still kids. Mike, he was so annoyin' when he was a kid, so innocent and joyful, always a smile on his face. Donnie, he's always been a guineas and a smart ass, well that's has to be in his nature. And Leo, well, he's always been my best friend. And still is, even though we fought almost all the time since he became the leader. Most of it was my fault; I always figure that I would've been the top turtle, I was strongest, bravest.

"Good morning my son" I heard a familiar voice say behind me that dragged me back to reality. I shacked my head a bit just to clear up my head before I turned around, facin' my father.

"Morning" I said still a little confused.

"Something is disturbing you Raphael, would you like to tell me what's on your mind?" He asked with concern in his voice. My eyes fell down on the cup of tea in his hands, it's then I realized that he's seen me just standin' here for quite some time. I know I've to tell 'im, but I just don't know what to say.

"It's just that… it's… It's nothin' " I replayed but locked down. I can't bring myself to say it; I don't really know how to say it, even though I know that Master Splinter would understand. Everyone probably would, but I don't want to tell 'em. It's not in my nature to open up about my problems, they just have to deal with it.

"Very well then" He said after a little while. I looked up at him as he turned around and walked towards the door. He must've felt that I started to get angry, he always does, and lately he's been avoidin' me every time my temper startin' to heat up. "If someone needs me, I will be watching my stories."

With those words, he was gone. Alone again in the kitchen with the anger that heating up my body. I'm startin' to walk in circles to calm myself down, but as soon as I'm came closer to the wall, I hit my fist in it with most of my anger and all my strength. If I could see my expression now I would probably laugh. Fuck, my hand hurts, and still I'm holdin' it against the wall. I need to get out of here before I'm goin' insane. All these responsibilities', I don't know how he handled it, how he managed to take care of all this, bein' the strong one all the time. I took my fist down, lookin' at it as the knuckles startin' to swollen. I want to leave, so badly. But I can't bring myself to leave; I love this place, even though it's not the same anymore. Beside I've a promise to full fill, and nothin' gonna make me break that promise. My family needs me, and yah now what, I need 'em too, even though I'm too stubborn to admit it.

The TV was now on, I could hear the familiar intro of the Gilmore Girls, and in the background Donnie's moanin' voice. I walked to the door-frame just so I can watch over my remainin' family. Even though I can't see Mike, I can still hear him. A little smile dragged itself up upon my feature. I'm so pathetic; here I'm standin' watchin' my family in the shadows just like Leo did. My family has accepted it, they've moved on as best as they possible could. I'm proud of 'em, Donnie has his job as an IT specialist, Mike has a job as a party clown and Master Splinter has just accepted how life plays itself.

I'm startin' to get tired again; well it's not a surprise when you only sleep for a few hours every night. I walked out from the kitchen, not knowin' why I came down here in the first place. I headed for my room, turnin' off the light before I lay down in my hammock, takin' my right arm behind my head and closed my eyes, hopin' for some sleep for at least a few hours.

"I'm not stoppin' now, no way, not until I find Shredder."

"We can continue searching tomorrow night, we won't find them tonight. Beside, the sun will be up in a few hours"

"Yeah, a few hours. In that time we can keep on searchin'"

"We're searched the whole city by now. There no way that we going find them tonight, if they were here we already would have."

….

"Well, I'm not goin' until I'm convinced"

"Raph, we're heading home now"

"Don't touch me Leo. Yah may be the leader of this group, but yah can't order me around as one of yahr soldiers. I'm doin' what I want, I'm not goin' back"

"Raph"

My eyes shut open as my body sat up. Breathin' out a deep breath while my eyes fell down on the alarm clock; I've only been asleep for an hour. I can still hear him shoutin' my name in my head, and cursin' myself that I didn't listen to 'im. Soon his voice left my mind as Donnie's voice replaced it. His is loud and clear; another workday for him when his clients have forgotten to put in the plunger. I lay myself down again and looked up at the ceiling. The nightmares is really gettin' on my nerves, I've never suffered from nightmares before, why does it have to do it now?

It took only about five minutes before I got sick of just lyin' there. I walked out from my room, headin' for the dojo. I need to get out some aggravation from my system. Jumpin' down from the second floor, I landed on all four before I rushed into the dojo, closin' the door after me. I walked towards my punchin' bag, and when I was just a punch away from it, I punched. I took all my anger, all my power; all rage and all sadness into that very first punch.

Punchin' and punchin' for almost an hour straight. My body is cryin' out in protest for rest, but my mind doesn't want to stop. Everything's black around me, there is nothing except for me and the punching bag. But as soon as my fists hit it, their voices echo in the darkness.

The first punch:

"We have to get out of here, before we turned into dead turtles" Donnie's shaking voice said echoin' in the black.

"Workin' on it" The words spillin' through my mouth.

The second punch:

"Look out!" Mike's scream almost made the black world shiver.

The third punch:

This scream is louder, almost breakin' the darkness apart.

"Leo" I almost didn't hear us three scream as his scream almost swallowin' everything.

The fourth punch:

"You're not leaving this roof alive" The sound of the Shredder's voice still freezes me.

The fifth punch:

"Well, neither will you"

Everythin' stopped. Even though it isn't any time that goes here, everythin' stopped. My body stopped in the middle of a punch. Those words, this sentence, I can't forget it. The feelin' that stabbed me in my chest, still stings every time I remember it. And what's makin' me so fuckin' furious is that he knew, that fuckin' jerk, he lied to us.

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Donnie and I've been waitin' for Mike for almost half an hour now. And it's really annoyin' me, if it wouldn't be for Donnie to cool me down, I would've been explodin' and dragged Mike down here several minutes ago. He just had to wrap in Leo's present, how long does it take? My blood is boilin'; if he doesn't come down soon I will drag 'im down here.

"Finally" Donnie said with a relief.

As soon as I lay my eyes on 'im I lost a bit of my temper. "What the shell Mike, we're supposed to be there now!" I yelled and hit him in the back of his head. "It doesn't take half an hour to wrap in a fuckin' present!"

He took his free hand on his head. "What? I didn't know what to get him," he said. "Gee, you really have to do somethin' about yor temper, dude."

"Yah said that yah had it fixed" He's really startin' to piss me off.

"Did I?"

I really want to hit him again, I even tighten my fist just so I could hit 'im again. But before I even had I chance, Don interrupted.

"Can we leave now?" He asked while he opens the door.

Mike gave me an annoying smile before he rushed out after Donnie that already had disappeared into the sewers. Breathing in a deep breath before I ran after them; I had a task to complete, I'm the leader of this group of ninjas, and even though I wish I never had to take this task, I have to.

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There we had the second chapter, What did you think? Please reviwe, =}

I'm working on the next chapter, I hope it will be up today ^^


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everybody!! Here's the next chapter, still a remake of the previous third chapter. I'm sorry that it took so long. But it's finally here =D

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Chapter 3: Run away

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Usually I'm not the one that's runnin' in the back, I hate runnin' in the back, always have. But this time it's different, I rather be in the back watchin' their backs than let 'em see the expression on my feature. I'm tryin' to hide it as best as I can, but when it comes to this it's hard. This is somethin' they need to do; it's somethin' they want to do. Even though they've accept the truth, I can still tell that they grievin' sometimes. I kinda think this is a way for 'em to handle it. But for me, I rather skip this if I could, but that would only hurt everyone. Still I feel the need of run away, leave everything behind. And goin' to April's isn't makin' it easier to handle. As soon as we'll go topside I'll have to put in all my strength to force my body not to listen to that need. It will be hard, and very temptin', but as I said before, I've a promise to full fill.

I don't know how we manage to know our way around down here, everythin' looks the same and it feels like we're walkin' in circles. Normal people would have a problem with that, but when yah lived down here for nineteen years, yah learn to recognize the different tunnels, even if it's only a small difference between 'em.

"Why aren't we goin' to the warehouse and takin' the car?" Mikey's askin' and lookin' at Don.

"Cause yah need the exercise" I'm answerin' before Donnie even have a chance to open his mouth.

"I don't need exercise, I'm in top form, dude. Beside I'm gettin' enough exercise at the birthday parties when I'm fleein' from the kids"

Both Donnie and I can't help but laugh, it didn't last long though as we finally got to the ladder that's gonna take us to the surface just a block away from April's apartment. Mikey's climbin' it right away; I think he wasn't that happy that we laughed at him. Donnie's climbin' up after him, while I'm still hesitatin'. The hard part isn't to get to the surface, it's bein' at April's and see Leo.

"Are you coming?" Donnie's askin' from the top. I'm not answerin'; I'm just puttin' my hands on the ladder and startin' to climb up. As soon as I'm up, Mikey have already gotten to the roof. We're followin' him, and when we reached the top he has a smile on his feature.

"Yo're too slow, dudes" he's sayin'.

Donnie's givin' me an enjoyable smile; he has somethin' on his mind, somethin' that includes Mikey. By his look, I just know that it's a prank. A smile's crawlin' up on my lips and I'll definitely enjoy this. Donnie's movein' closer towards Mikey, takin' his bo staff and holdin' it close to his knees.

"Hey Mikey, what's that on your shell?" He's askin', tryin' to hold his laugh under his serious face.

"What, What is it?" Mikey's askin' in panic while he tries to see what he has on his back and movin' forwards and stumble over the staff and fallin' on his stomach. "Aw…"

Both Donnie and I'm startin' to laugh, and soon Mikey's joining us. We're laughin. for a little while, it feels good to laugh. We haven't laughed like that for years, not since Leo was here. It was somethin' we needed though, even if we have been laughin' before, it was just different this time. A bit of acceptance I guess, even if it's hard being around my brothers sometimes, it helps a bit too.

"Let's go" Donnie's sayin'.

I stopped laughin', and walkin' over to Mikey to offer my hand to help him up. He's stoppin' as soon my hand got in front of him. He's gettin' a serious face, unsure if he should grab it. Well I don't blame him for being a bit suspicious about me; I haven't been the best brother to neither him nor Donnie. They still see me as the old Raphael, the hotheaded-idiotic-brother-that- screws-everythin'-up.

"Come on" I'm sayin' with a soft voice and he's takin' my hand.

"Thanks, I guess" He's sayin' when he's up on his feet.

No more words were said, we just continued towards April. Even though nothin' was said, still the thoughts were babbling in full speed. My thoughts went on the same road it has been for three years now, all the blame, a bit of self-pity I guess, and honestly fear. Fear of stayin' and still fear of runnin'. But the most of the fear is bein' the leader, it was what I wanted ever since Leo first got the job, now when I'm the top turtle I'm just afraid that I wasn't ready for it. And that I might lead my brothers to their deaths.

We finally got to April's buildin'. Donnie's headin' down the fire escape, but Mikey's beatin' him to it. The smile on his feature is impossible to miss. What can you say? He loves birthday parties, well, those he doesn't have to be the clown.

"Here's Mikey" Mikey's shoutin' out as soon as he has entered the apartment.

I can see Donnie roll his eyes before he's goin' down. A smile crawlin' upon my feature but it dies as soon as my eyes is layin' it sight over the city. I can hear the sirens from the police cars just a few blocks away. Givin' a frustrated grin I'm walkin' down the fire escape.

When I'm enterin' the apartment through the window, April's givin' me a delighted smile. By the look in her eyes, I guess she didn't think that I would show up.

"You're finally here, we been waiting for you guys." She's sayin' just as happy in her voice as she seems to be with her smile.

"Sorry it took so long, April. Mikey had a bit of a problem wrapping up Leo's present." Donnie's answerin' with a smile.

"A bit? It took him forever to wrap up that thing" I'm complainin' and closin' the window while my eyes is searchin' the street for someone that might have spotted us.

"Well, yo know, with the paper and the scissor, I'm not good at that stuff" Mikey's explainin' while showing it with his hands. April's laughin a little. "So..." Mikey looked around. "where's Leo?"

"Are the guys here yet?" Casey's askin' when he enterin' the living room with a little kid in his arms. "Hi guys".

I'm lookin' over at him, and before anyone even has a chance to react, Mikey's all over him. "Leo, dude, happy birthday!" He's sayin' to the kid, almost scarin' him half to death. He's startin' to cry when Mikey's not backin' off.

"For crying out loud, Mikey you're scaring him" I'm sayin' and hittin' him in the back of his head. Both me and Mikey is backin' away when April's goin' over to Casey and takin' their son from him. Tryin' to calm him down, she's waggin' him with gentle movements. Even though it's been three years now, Leo's still bein' a little scared of us, especially when Mikey is up in his face almost all the time.

Soon he stopped cryin' and April's lookin' up at us. "I'm sorry, he's a bit tired. It's been a long day."

"It's okay" Donnie's sayin' with a smile.

She puttin' him down and Leo's lookin' between us, and his sight is spottin' the present in Mikey hands. "Mine?" He's askin' while he's pointin' at the present.

Mikey's puttin' a smile upon his feature and is givin' it to him. He's tornin' of the paper in one second and the action figure box is revealed. Casey is comin' in with some cake leftovers and is helpin' April serve. Leo's brakin' the box open and as soon as Mikey sees it, he's screamin'. "No! You're not supposed to open it!"

"It's mine and I want to play with it!" Leo's sayin' and takin' out his Silver Sentry action figure. Mikey's takin' it from him but Leo's grabbin' it before Mikey even could put it into the box again. And soon the tussle had started.

Rollin' my eyes with a small sighed as my eyes meet Casey's. A false smile was crawlin' upon my mouth but I don't know why I bother. It's so obvious that I don't want to be here. I hate to be here, it just brings back the memories. My fist is tightnin' just to bottle up my anger.

--------------------------------

It was almost after midnight when we left April and Casey's. They had put Leo in bed only a half an hour after we came. I couldn't be more relived as when we left the apartment. Yeah, I do love to hang out with our human friends, but it's hard when they have a son named after our brother. It brings back bad memories, even if it wasn't meant for that. They only did it to honor him, and it should be an honor for me too, as it is for my family.

We went up on the roof so we could take the same route back. I'm in the front, with Mikey on my left and Donnie on my right. Mikey's yawnin' and soon Donnie does the same. They're both tired, well they been up for several hours so it's just a fact they are. I on the other hand, don't have time to be tired. At least not when we're bein' fallowed.

I'm listenin' carefull, makin' myself more aware of my surroundings without makin' my brothers notice my suspicions. I don't want to bother 'em without cause. We're almost a block away from the sewer tunnel, and I still have the feelin'. I can't risk 'em to know where we live, so I've to tell my brothers. Instead of runnin' forwards, I'm takin' another turn.

"Hey, aren't home that way?" Mikey's askin' and pointin' to his left.

"We're been fallowed" I'm explainin' while jumpin' over to the next roof. I'm landin' on all four and went up straighten before continuing.

"Think or know?" Mikey's askin' while he is catchin' up with me.

I'm not gonna answer that question; I don't know why I should. He has to trust me on this on, even if I might be wrong. But I won't take the risk.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

We were runnin' for almost an hour. The frustration of knowin' that someone's followin' us but not approachin' is making my temper tingle. I don't have the patient for this, but still I'm runnin' like I don't know someone was out there, fallowin' us. Jumpin' from rooftop to rooftop like we're out in another one of ours practicin' route.

"Are we still being fallowed?" Mikey's askin' impatient.

Rollin' my eyes in frustration, I'm answerin', "Yeah, I think so".

"If it was Leo, he would know for sure" Mikey's sayin' with a bit irritation. "What?"

I can feel how my temper explodin' inside of me. I can't see Donnie's look that he's givin' Mikey, but I know exactly how it looks like. Still I can't fight the wrath that's takin' its place in my mind. Even if a small part tries to fight it, it's worthless. My fista is tightenin' to two balls, keepin' it hard and tight I'm turnin' around to face my youngest brother. With everythin' I have, I'm hittin' his face so hard that he's losin' his balance and fallin on his shell. He's hittin' the ground hard, but I don't care, my vision has gone black.

"Shot your fuckin' mouth. I'm not Leo n' I'll never be him" The words are just screamin' on their own, I can't control it. I'm gettin' a flash of my brothers scared and shocked faces, but it's not keepin' me from attackin' Mikey.

"Raph" Mikey's screamin'g while I'm over him, tryin' to beat him, but Donnie has his bo staff against my plastron and pushin' me away from Mikey.

"Raph, what the shell are you doing?" Donnies askin' with a yell when he has pushed me to the ground.

My vision's comin' back in the same second I'm fallin' to the ground. With my head spinnin', I can't really recall what just happened. "Mikey, I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" I don't know how to put up the words in a correct sentence, everything's just so damned fuzzy.

"What the shell is wrong with yo?" Mikey's askin' while Donnie's helpin' him up off the ground. He's dryin' away the blood from his mouth with his hand.

"I don't- I don't know" I'm tryin' to answer, ashamed of my actions. God, this was never meant to happen. If Leo was here, watchin' what just happened, I would definitely get my shell kicked. I'm takin' my left hand on my forehead while I'm gettin' up.

"We better get home before something else happens. It seems like we're not followed, if we were they would have caught up with us already." Donnie's sayin while he's ginin' me a disappointed and angry look. He's turnin' his face to look at Mikey. "And we have to get you an ice pack to keep the swelling intact."

"Ow, it hurts; I think I lost a tooth." Mikey's complainin', but I know he's makin' it sound worse than it really is. I did hit him hard, but it was far from all I have, at least I think so. Maybe some part of my mind hold me back. I hope.

Donnie and Mikey is already on their way home. I'm just standin' there, waiting. I've done some really stupid things in my life, but that was the old Raphael, not me. Not the leader. The running away feelin' is enterin' my mind, at this point, I want to give in to it. Just by doin' so I'm turnin' at another direction, allowin' my body to go where ever it wants to go.

Turnin' around, my whole body froze as my brain is registerin' what my eyes have spotted. It's standin' on the tall building now in front of me. A figure's standin' in the dark starrin' back at me, just so the outlines can be known.

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I hope ypu liked it, please R&R, see you the next time =D


	4. Chapter 4

Hi everybody ^^ Here we have the next chapter, and this is the last one that I have been changing. After this one, I'm continueing with the story. I'm sorry that I changed it, but I hope you like it anyway. It's a fighting sceen in this chapter, and I'm really bad at it, but I hope you like it and can follow it.

Thanks for you're patience and enjoy!

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Chapter 4: Within the Shadows

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I'm standin' frozen like ice as my eyes is lookin' at the figure on the building in front of me. I can't tell who it is; the face and the body have hid itself in the shadow so yah just can tell the outline. But it's not the _figure_ in front of me that make me freeze, no, it's the outline of the hat it's wearin'. It's reminds me of the Foot elite ninjas' hats, and I think it has a cloak too. It can't be, or can it? No, it can't, we killed the four of 'em three years ago. I know we did. And Karai took the remaining Foot ninjas and left New York not long afterwards; does this mean they're back?

Well, I can figure that out later, now I gotta get ready for the first attack. The cold spring wind's givin' me an intense feelin', a feelin' I haven't felt for a long time. Somehow it feels good, exciting.

My weapons is flipping into my hands and puttin' 'em in a defensive position as the elite ninja's jumping down from the tall building and heading towards me. He's taking out his weapons while he's runnin' towards me. I'm starting to run towards him myself, puttin' my sais into a fightin' position. It didn't even take a second before our weapons collide. First it became a muscle contest, if you can call it that. The one that has the strongest muscles is the one that will win. We're both blocking and pushing, blocking the other ones pushing, and pushing to break the other ones blocking. It didn't take that long before I realize that I'm stronger, which I'm glad for.

"Who're ya?" I asked while I'm trying to keep a steady grip on the situation, and while I'm trying to see the face that is covered under the hat. But unfortunately I can't see a damned thing, even though there's light from both the city and the moon. I have to say, this elite is good at keepin' its' appearance in the dark. Every push, every block and every turn he's still in the shadows.

Instead of answerin' he's startin' to push even harder, but I'm pressin' down his katanas, which I'm guessin' he's noticing. Because he's draggin' the edges of his katanas against my shoulders; I can feel how it is cutting into my flesh. Grinning my teeth in anger, I'm pushing both katanas at the sides and kick him in his abdomen, sent him flying down on his back. But he didn't even lay there for a split second before he's backflippin' and is on his feet again, runnin' towards me.

I'm flipping the sais to defensive position and blocking the blows. Blow after blow. This feels a bit awkward, like I've done this before, somewhere, not that long ago. I can't remember from were, not that I'm getting so much thinking time from my opponent. He's forcing me to go backwards until I'm standin' on the ledge of the building. My eyes are droppin' to the alley under me. The light from a bypassing car lightens up the alley just for a second. If I fall, I will be dead for sure. Not that this guy will give me a better option.

Dragging my eyes back forward he strikes again. But this time I could see it comin'. I'm blocking the katanas, pushin' them at the sides so he would drop them. The sound of metal against metal is drownin' the sound from the city's nightlife. It's Friday and the humans is out drinkin' and dancin', or whatever humans do on a Friday night. What I'm sayin' is that they out havin' a good time while I'm strugglin' for my life.

I'm forcin' the katanas down with all my strength as he's d draggin' them backwards so the edges of the swords is against my sais. Then he's twirling them, forcing my hands to loosen the grip of my weapons. I can hear them hit the ground and my eyes is fallin' down so they can see why they're not in my hands, but a movement in the corner of my eyes is throwin' them back up again. Before I even had a chance to react, I'm takin' a hit in my stomach and I'm flyin' over the ledge.

I'm fallin', fallin' to my death. That's the only thing in my mind right now. My whole life is flashing by, like when yah see it in a movie. My childhood with my brothers and Master Splinter, all the pranks we did, and all the trainings. All the happy and the sad times. The teenage years, the first time we fought with the Purple Dragons and the Foot, when we first meet April and saved her from Stockman's mousers. When I first meet Casey, that bonehead I can't believe that he is a dad now. The first time we fought the Shredder, and all the life-threatening battles, and Karai. And especially the final showdown with the Shredder.

"_Take care of them for me Raph_"

My eyes shut wide open. My hand is grabbing the nearest window ledge and I'm pullin' myself up. Then I hear something swingin' in the air, before I can see what it is, something sharp is piercing into my left shoulder and right leg, and two shurikens hit the wall.

"_Fuck_" I'm grabbin' the fire escape and going back up to the roof. Pulling out the stars and throwin' them after the elite and I'm runnin' straight towards him. Of course he is blockin' 'em with his katanas, somehow I'm not surprised. My fists are tightenin' into two balls, I hit his shoulder with my first strike, but he's dodgin' the next one and the next one. It's startin' to piss me off; I guess he knows that because he's gliding to my right when I'm tryin' to hit him again. Now with him to my right he is kickin' me forward with an amassing strength. I'm fallin' to the ground and rollin' a few yards until I have my sais within reach and pickin 'em up.

As fast as I'm fallin' on the ground, he's runnin' towards me tryin' to stab me in both shoulders. I'm jumping to the left so his katanas slam into the roof. I have to admit this elite has some really good skills, both fast and strong at the same time. He has some of the other elites fightin' techniques, mixed with Karais', but most of the technique is comin' from somewhere else, but I don't know from where. It does seem a bit familiar, though.

While he is standin' with his side against me, I'm takin' the chance to strike. He is turnin' in the very moment my sai is cuttin' into his left arm. He doesn't seem to care that he's got an nasty cut cause he is cuttin' after me. I'm jumpin' back and he's cutting in the midair after me. By the blood on my sai I can tell that I cut him pretty deep, and still he uses his left arm like nothing happened, even though his arm is not really responding like he want it to.

The moon is disappearing behind the clouds and making the elite disappear even more into the shadows. And I'm too busy to avoid the cuttin' that I'm not seein' the kick he's kicking on my plastron. I'm takin' the fall with my hands and kicking myself up on my feet again, and as soon as I'm lookin' up he's all over me. Blocking the cutting with my sais just before the swords could cut into my skull. I'm tryin' to force them away from my head, and puttin' all my strength I have in it.

The elite is pulling itself backwards, making our weapon stretch out. And then, the sound of metal against metal again. My eyes are dropping down on my sais, thinkin' that he will do the same move again. I'm bein' prepared for it. But this time the katanas is bein' drawn closer to me, while I'm still havin' my weapon in the same position. The blades is curling themselves up against my arms, I can feel the cold metal on my skin. I'm not really sure what he's gonna do, but I guess I won't like it.

My eyes are draggin' themselves up so I can see the elite. And I swear he is smilin' under that hat of his, cause in the next second I can feel the pressure on my arms. And just as fast, before I could react, before I even could avoid it he is dragging the blades towards him, making the blades cut deep into my arms. The pain in my arms is forcing me to loosen the grip on my sais.

The pain is incredible; it's over in an instant, but still it feels like forever before the cold metal is livin' my arms. The blood is slippin' from the cuts. I'm just standin' there, feeling the pain, thinking that this is it. I don't know why, I've been in even more dangerous situations. Why does this one feel like the end? Maybe I want it to end?

Leaving my arms cut open, and my Sais dropped at my feet, the elite is jumpin' back up to the tall building behind him. I'm fallin' to my knees, chocked over the defeat.

"_Raph!_"

I'm snapping out of it, lookin' up at the elite now on the tall building. He's just standing there, lookin' down on me. He's putting one of the katanas back into the sheath on his back. The other one he is still holdin' in his hand, aiming it for me, ready to throw it. I'm preparin' my body to dodge it, there's no way that I'm going to die tonight.

The next split second the katana was flyin', cuttin' the air aside so it can hit its target. I'm dodging it easy, and the blade is piercing the roof. I'm ready to dodge again, the anger is boiling inside of me, but when I'm lookin' up on the building, expecting the elite to throw something or tryin' to stab me again, he's gone. I'm standin' up, lookin' around for him, but he has disappeared again.

Grinning my teeth in anger, I'm just standin' there for a moment, still lookin' up at the spot that the elite were standin' on. The blood from my wounds is dropping on the roof, makin' two small puddles of blood.

After a few minutes I'm startin' to feel a bit dizzy. I need to get home before I'm droppin' unconscious. I'm grabbin' my weapons and put them down in my belt, feelin' the pain while I'm doin' so. I'm turnin' around to leave, but my eyes are fallin' back, down on the katana, still pierced into the roof. I'm tellin' myself to leave it, but my eyes won't let go of the sight of 'em. My eyes are widening as the light from the moon appears and drownin' it in its light. I'm walkin' towards it while I'm thinkin'; that it can't be. The anger in me is gone with the wind and filed with denyin'. Even if my eyes can't lie I still can't believe what I'm seein'.

I'm grabbing its blue long grip and pullin' it out. My eyes are examining it into every little detail of the blade. The curved, slender, single edged blade in all its glory. After three long years, and now I'm standin' with one of Leo's precious katana. The last time I saw it was when it was pierced into Saki's dead body. Why did that guy have it? Why didn't he just kill me? He had the chance to do it, is this some kind of warning?

The dizziness is startin' to get to me. I can figure this out later. Now I've to get home, and I'm taking Leo's katana with me.

------------

Donnie and Mike had been home for almost an hour. Mikey had gotten an icepack for his cheek, and was now watching TV. He wasn't sleepy at all, his cheek was too sure and he was too angry to sleep. Donnie had gone to bed right after he had gotten the icepack for Mikey and explained why Raph hadn't come home with them.

Shifting between the channels, he could hear the door open. "It's about time yo came home" Mikey said with an angry voice, not bothering to turn around and see his older brother. "Master Splinter wants to talk to yo" The door closed and after a little while he could hear a moaning. He turned around, curious to see why his older brother is making such an annoying noise.

As he turned around he could see how Raph is supporting himself against the wall while he was on his way towards Donnie's lab. But before he even was close to the room, he collapsed on the ground.

"Raph!" Quickly Mikey jumped up from the couch and was running to his brother. He could see the nasty cuts on his arms and his body. He turned him around on his shell. "Are yo okay, bro?" he asked at the same time. When he didn't get any response he grabbed him and placed one of Raph's arms over his shoulder and lifted him up.

Mikey took him to the sick room next to Donnie's lab. He hated to go in there, he still had nightmare of that place, and the images are still popping up. But he hadn't any time to be afraid to go in there, not when his brother was hurt. He walked in and placed Raph gently and carefully on the bed. And as soon as Raph was in place, Mikey headed for Donnie's room on the second floor.

------

Mikey walked into Donnie's room, screaming.

"Donnie! Donnie wake up!"

"What is it?" Donnie asked with a tired and annoyed voice while he sat up in his bed.

"Raph's hurt!"

"What?" He jumped up from his bed, fearing the worst as they ran down into the sick room. On the way down Mikey explained what happened.

"And then he just collapsed" Mikey ended and stepped inside.

Donnie looked at his older brother. The cuts on his shoulders, his plastron, the cuts on his leg and the cuts on both his arms. He went over to the locker and grabbing some supplies he would need to sew the cuts. He turned around and walked back to his brothers. He took the chair and sat down next to the bed. He started to clean up the blood from his right arm. Most of the blood had already dried so he didn't have to stop the bleeding.

He looked up at his younger brother's horrified look. He could see exactly what he was thinking in his eyes. It was the same as he himself was thinking just a minute ago.

"It's okay Mikey" He said with a soft smile. Mikey made contact like he didn't understand. "He's gonna be okay"

"Yo're sure? Yo said that the last time too" His voice was shivering a little.

Donnie's eyes lowered in blame. He turned his eyes back at Raphael's arm and continued to clean. He knew he did say that the last time, but it was different then. He knew that it wasn't true then, but he couldn't make himself say it when he's whole family counted on him. He knew that he failed them then. He's reminding himself that every day.

"_Yeah Raph has some nasty cuts, but they're not life-threatening. He has lost some blood, but the real reason why he collapsed was that he hasn't slept very well for weeks_" He thought.

"Leo" Raph mumbled.

Both of the brothers looked at him surprised. Was he dreaming? They looked at each other.

"Mikey, help me clean up the blood" Donnie said calm and started to clean the right arm.

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It's dark. Everything around me is dark. Where am I? It feels like I'm sleepin', is this a dream? I don't know. I'm feeling so dizzy, tired. My mind isn't clear. I want to move, but I can't. My body is feelin' light, and there is a pricking feeling.

"_-time_"

What was that? I can hear something echoin', but I can't tell what. The darkness, is it something in there? It's comin' from behind, I want to move. Why can't I move? Or am I movin'?

"_Raph_"

Who's there? This voice, it's stronger, familiar even. It does not echo like the other sound. It seems closer. The sound in the voice, it seems scared. Why?

"_Are yo okay, bro?"_

Why can't I answer? What the hell is this? Get me outta here!

"_-not"_

That echoing again. Who are yah? Show yahself! It's under me! Fuck! I can't tell if I'm movin' or not.

"_It's okay Mikey. He's gonna be okay"_

Okay? Who's gonna be okay? Where are these voices comin' from?

"_-You"_

Me? What about me? This echo is really startin' to piss me off. I can't understand it. Time-not-you? What does that mean?

"_Yo're sure? Yo said that the last time too"_

The shivering in this voice, I know that voice. I don't really know how, but I know exactly what they talkin' about. "The last time". It can only mean that. But the echo, those words, I can't understand the words.

"_It's not your time yet!"_

Stop screaming! Wait, what do yah mean? Who's time? Mine? Say it again. Who's time? Who are you?!

Wait. That echo, it's not a sound. It's a voice. I know that voice. Where are yah?

"Leo"

No one is answering. The echo's gone. The voices are too.

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The darkness that's surroundin' me is leavin' as I'm startin' to feel my body, it's heavy and the pain is striking. I'm still as tired as before, but my eyes are slowly opening up. I'm blinking a few times before my sight is clear. I'm starin' at the ceiling, tryin' to block the pain in my body.

"Good, you're awake." I'm turnin' my head and sees Donnie put away his book on the table beside him. There's a coffee mug on it and the strong smell of coffee is entering my nose. My eyes are exploring the room and I'm tryin' to remember how I got here.

"Where-?" I'm tryin' to say but my mouth is a bit dry.

"In the sick room" Donnie finished for me. "What happened?"

I'm tryin' to sit up, but I don't have the strength in my arms to push. In an instant Donnie was by my side and helping me.

"I was attacked" I'm sayin' while grinning my teeth in pain. "Thanks"

"No problem" He said and sat down again. "By who? The Purple Dragon?"

"I'm not really sure. An elite I guess, at least I think so. He looked like one"

"But, the Foot is gone. Karai took all the remaining Foot ninjas back to Japan." I can tell by Donnie's look that he's not convinced. Well, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I probably wouldn't believe it either.

"Well, I guess she's back for revenge." I'm looking down on my arms they're all covered in bandages.

"If she's back for revenge, why didn't the elite kill you?"

"I don't know, he had the chance, but didn't do it." The thought of it is making me angry. Why didn't he finish me off? He defeated me easily, and he still didn't use all he got. Wait, I remember now. My eyes are lookin' at Donnie. "Leo's katana, where is it?"

"Master Splinter has it." He's answerin' like he almost knew I would ask. He's lowering his sight a little, and the pain and sadness that I haven't heard for a long time is back in his voice. "He's gonna take it to the grave tomorrow."

"What? But-" I don't know what I'm trying to say, or what I want to say. He's lookin' at me in confusion.

"Where did you get it? Last time I saw it was when we killed the Shredder."

"The elite had it; I think he still has the other one. We have to get it back, for Leo."I'm sayin' with a determine voice. Even though he's not sayin' anything, I can see in his eyes that agree. There's still some pain and sadness in 'em, like he doesn't want to be reminded of that. I know how he feels, but we have to do it. Leo's twin katanas was precious to him; they were a part of his soul. And he can't rest in peace until they're by his side, where they belong. We will find this elite, and bring it down together with Karai. It's time to put an end to it.

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So what did you think? Did you follow everything? =D Please review, that would make my day ^^

Till next time!


	5. Chapter 5

Hello again! This one has taken allot of time, both because I have had tones of things to do in school and I've been struggling with this chapter. This is the chapter that will... Wait, you'll have to read to find out =D

Thanks to all of you that are reading this story!

I don't own the turtles, but you all know that ;P

My inspiration is coming from a song and a music video on Youtube. The song is called; God only cries by Diamond Rio. If you want to listen see it then you can search for tmnt- God only cries

Enjoy

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Chapter 5: Relive the Past

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I wasn't allowed to leave the lair for almost a month, even though my arms weren't that badly injured but Donnie wanted to make sure that they heal properly. Yeah I got some nasty cuts, and had to stitch it a bit, but they weren't so deep that it would affect my trainin' once they're healed. At least I can eat by myself; it would be to humiliating if I couldn't. Damned, I'm startin' to sound just like Leo did.

But as soon as I was allowed to train and leave the lair, I didn't think twice about it. I regain my strength pretty quick and then we went topside to look for our new "friend". We went straight to the Foot headquarter but only to find it empty and abandon like it has been for three years. After that we went searchin' on other places that Saki had owned, like a few old factories. But they too were abandon.

After a whole night searchin' both Don and Mikey started to doubt that it was an Elite. It had to be someone else, and I was just imagining that it was an Elite. Hell no I wasn't, I know what I saw and it was an Elite, even though he was in the shadows all the time.

"I know what I saw, Donnie" I'm yellin' at him while we're enterin' the lair.

"Then where is he?" He's askin' while closing the door.

"How should I know? That's why we were out lookin'" Now I've my arms up in the air, angry for not bein' believed.

"The Foot headquarter was abandoned, just like it has been for three years. Karai took them with her to Japan. And if the Foot was back, we would have notice by now, don't you think?"

"I know what I saw"

"What yo think yo saw" Mikey's puttin' in.

I'm glaring at him angry and he's backin' off. "I know what I was, I just can't prove it" The silence is takin' over. We're all tired and frustrated. None of us want to relive the past, I can just hope that it wasn't an Elite, but I know it was.

Mikey finally interrupting the silence with a yawn and stretchin' out his arms in the process. Both Don and I is rollin' our eyes before lookin' at him.

"What? I'm tired" He's sayin' to his defense.

"I'm goin' to bed" I'm sayin' right after him and turnin'. I'm heading for the stairs, but jumps up on the second floor without even put a single foot on the first step. I'm still angry and by bein' that, I'm takin' it out on the door while slamming it close.

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_The sun was about to rise only a few hours ahead and the four brothers were out running one of their usual routes, just like they had done every night for a whole week now. They were searching for the Foot, 'cause they knew they were up to something. They intended to know exactly what that something was. _

_The Foot headquarter was abounded and there was no sign of the Shredder. The last time they fought with him, they had interrupted an important business deal with the famous scientist Jackson McLain. They didn't know what the deal was cause Oroku Saki got away before they could find out or stop it. And they had nothing. Even the Purple Dragons had gone missing, vanished from the face of the earth._

_It was starting to get on Raphael's nerves. He couldn't understand how they could let Saki get away. Who knew what he was up to. And probably it would be something that includes them fight for their lives. He couldn't just stand there and waiting for that something to happen. He needed to find out what it was and stop it. Besides, he couldn't think that Shredder would leave the city when he practically owned it. _

"_Hell this is gettin' on my nerves" Raph said irritated when he realized what Leo was doing. They were heading home, without even saying anything to them. "Why aren't we out there lookin' for them?"_

"_Cause we don't know where they are" Leo explained when he realized that Raphael had stopped. _

"_So we just gonna sit home 'n wait 'til somethin' happens?"_

_A fight between their older brothers was approaching. The tension between them had been on the line sense when Saki first got away. Raph didn't like Leo's decision to leave and let him escape, but he didn't realize that the cops were coming and they had to get out of that burning factory before they got there. And ever since that night Raph had fought with Leo almost none stop. And all the two of them could do was watch them and hope that they wouldn't kill each other._

"_We don't have another option, do we? If you don't happen to know where they are?" Leo asked starting to be a little bit irritated himself. _

"_No I don't. That's why we've to be out there lookin'" Raph said pointing at the city._

"_Looking where? Raph?"_

"_I don't know! Leo! I'm not stoppin' now, not until I find Shredder!"_

"_We can continue searching tomorrow night, we won't find them tonight! Beside the sun will be up in a few hours!"_

"_Yeah, a few hours. In that time we can keep on searchin'!" Raph screamed between his teeth._

"_We're searched the whole city by now. There's no way that we're going to find them tonight, if they were here we already would have!"_

_It became silence for a half a minute. Leo and Raph eyeing each other both determined. Don and Mikey started to think that they maybe had stopped fighting. Often their fights stopped with them eyeing each other and then they just got tired of each other and went different ways, well Raph anyway. _

"_Well, I'm not goin' until I'm convinced" Raph turned around to storm of, but was stopped by Leo grabbing his arm._

"_Raph, we're heading home, now" Leo said with almost fire in his eyes. All of them knew that when Leo was that angry, they either had crossed the line, or was about to. But Raph paid no attention to it, instead he ignored it cause Leo was about to cross the line himself._

"_Don't touch me Leo! Yah may be the leader of this group, but yah can't order me around as one of yahr soldiers! I'm doin' what I want, I'M NOT GOING BACK!" Raph drew back his arm so Leo loosened the grip of it. He started to walk away with hasty steps, almost running._

"_RAPH!!" Leo ran after him, jumping over him and then the real fight was on. _

_----_

_The fight kept going on and on for over an hour. It had started raining and both Mikey and Donnie shivered from the cold. They had tried to interrupt their elder brothers with more harm than good. Instead they had gotten some punches themselves and backed away, letting their older brothers fight off the steam. _

_At least until Leo finally stopped. He got of off Raph and stood up. He raised his arms in the air while looking Raph in his eyes and said: "I give up!" He turned with his shell towards a stunned Raph. Both Mikey and Donnie looked just as stunned on their oldest brother._

"_What did yah just say?" Raph asked still angry but with a stunned tone in his voice. He got up on his feet, not taking his eyes of off Leo._

"_I said 'I give up'" Leo turned to face him. "I'm done fighting with you. If you want to go looking for Saki, then go, you have my blessings." Leo wasn't angry, he was just, tired somehow. Not tired like he wanted to sleep, and not tired after the fight, it would take much more than that to make him tired. He was just tired, of everything. _

"_Leo-?" Donnie started, but didn't know what he wanted to ask._

"_Do whatever you want, I don't care anymore." Leo turned around and ran to the ledge of the roof. He jumped over to the next building and kept running without looking back._

_Both Mikey and Donnie watched how their older brother ran away. When he had gotten out of sight they turned their eyes on Raph that immediately felt their stairs. _

"_What?" He asked with an angry voice._

"_Why did you have to do that?" Donnie asked irritated._

"_I've never seen Leo like that" Mikey said and looked at the direction that Leo ran off to. "You must've made him really mad, dude"_

"_Let's go after him." Donnie said and ran after him. Mikey followed him without any hesitation, and did not see if Raph was going to go too._

_Raph stood put on the roof. He was still angry, and a bit confused. It was like Mikey said; he had never seen Leo like that, never. He didn't know why, but that started to make him even angrier, and a bit… scared. He stayed there for just a minute until he started ran after his brothers._

"_Damn that Leo!" He said, grinning his teeth. Something in him wasn't feeling quite right about this. Crossing the roof of New York, he almost made his way to April's. He knew that Leo wouldn't go there but it was the direction closes to home. Still a few blocks from April's he saw his brothers, and Foot ninjas, it seemed like hundreds of them, but he knew it wasn't more than about twenty – thirty. _

_He had his sais in both hands and rushed to the building to help his brothers. But he wasn't aware of what would happen next. In just a few seconds after he had gotten his feet on the building, he was kicked in his shell and was sent flying over the roof 'til the other side and slammed into the wall._

"_Finally, what took yah so long?" He asked while standing up and jumped into the fight again. He blocked two swords with his sais that were aiming for his head. With their strength two Foot ninjas tried to push him on his knees. But he fought them back with pushing the swords upwards with his own weapons. He kicked them up and made the two Foot soldiers go backwards a few steps. He took the opportunity to kick them both to their backs and sent another one flying. _

_He didn't had the time to see if they went unconscious or not, as he had his hands full with their comrades. They didn't even give him a chance to put his feet on the ground before they were there to knock him on his shell. He dodged the swinging sword and did a few flip backs and slammed two more Foots. When he got his feet on the ground he felt something run on his right upper arm. A pretty nasty cut had one of the Foot managed to deliver on his body. He felt the pain, but it didn't hurt as much as the wound seemed to deliver. _

_The awareness of the four soldiers behind him made him fend off the swords that cutting in the air, before he turned around he throw on sai in one of the ninjas throat, falling dead on the ground. He returned his weapon into his possession. He kicked the second ninja into the third and they went dropping from the edge._

"_Raph" He could hear one of his brothers' shout for him but hadn't the time to look who it was or even replay. The fourth Foot stroke and stroke while all he could do was block. _

"_I'm a bit busy here" He managed to replay as he stroke back. Another one tried to stab him from behind but he managed to block both of the swords. Again he had to rely on his arm strength, by pushing the blades from his head. One of the ninjas drew back his sword and cut him on his left arm and shell. God how happy he was that he had a shell right about now. He drew back his sai from the other ninja and stabbed one of his opponent's abdomens. But as soon as he got rid of one, another one took his place. It was like this would keep up forever._

_------_

_The fight seemed to went on forever, strike, block, strike, block, kick or be kicked. They couldn't even blink if they wanted to have their heads stuck on their bodies. They never stopped coming, even if most of them were injured or dead. The four brothers were tired, and their cuts and bruises weren't helping either. They didn't know how long they could keep up._

_"We have to retreat" Leo shouted out in the end._

"_Good idea" Donnie agreed and hit his opponent in his back and took a step back._

_The four brothers went backwards. They didn't know which way they could escape as they were surrounded. Breathing heavily they stood focused and didn't let their guard down even in an inch. The Foot were going to attack when the suddenly just stopped and went backwards themselves. The turtles knew exactly why they drew back; they had been through this a thousand times to know that. _

"_What now 'Fearless leader'?" Raph asked and saw the well familiar metal armor approached. _

_The Shredder stood in front of them in amusement, with the Foot Elite ninjas behind him. His small laughter exposed that he had them exactly where he wanted them. It was then they realized that they had fallen in his trap again. _

"_Ah, the turtles. What a pleasure to see you here" Saki said with ironic in his normally rough tone._

"_Well, we can't say the same thing for you" Leo said with both his katanas in his hands. _

"_Ah Leonardo, still as commanding as ever. You don't know how glad I am to expose the world of the four of you." _

"_Yah'll be dead before that ever happens" Raph said roughly. Ready to attach him, but Leo stopped him._

"_Elite ninjas" Shredder commanded and the Elite rushed towards the green brothers. _

_Leo rushed towards them without any warnings. Ignoring them just as much as they ignored him he past them to fight the Shredder. Both of them disappeared into the ocean of Foot ninjas, and made his brothers lose sight of him. They tried to go after him, only to be prevented from getting any inches closer. Instead they got their hands full with the remaining Foot ninjas and the Elites. It was bad enough that they had to fight the Elites, as they were difficult to beat, but did they have to take care of the small fry too?_

_Raph tried to be aware of both his Elite ninjas that fought him. He didn't need to be aware of the small fry as they didn't approach. One Elite was enough to almost beat the shell out of him, and now he had to fight two? _

_------_

_Donnie had his hands full with the Foot. They didn't back off when the Elite ninja with the twin bladed sword interfered. He knew who he had to have his focus on, but his body didn't respond to that. Instead his body fought the Foots, while ignoring the Elite. They had bunched around him and made it impossible to get them off his shell. But he had fought them for so many years that he pretty easy could defeat them. _

_The Elite ninja didn't stand by for so long. He disappeared in the well known purple fog that always made him crazy not knowing how they did that. He knew that the Elite were coming up behind him, and he was ready. In a split second he was behind him, ready to strike with his twin sword. With his bo staff he stroked against the Elite, but he avoided it, just so he could kick. Don made a flip back and made it on his hands, and made a twirled. While he got on his feet again the Elite knocked him on his plastron. Lying on the roof, he took his bow staff and hit against the Elite's feet. The Elite fell just by interrupting his fall with his hand and jumped with a spin on his feet. _

_Don ran towards him, trying to punch him in the head. But the Elite saw him coming and made his disappearance in the purple fog. Again Don was aware of the usually backstabbing technique they always used. The fog was appearing behind him and he slammed his bo through it, just to realize that the Elite wasn't there. Before he realized the Elite appeared behind him and stroke his twin bladed sword through his left shoulder._

_The pain was unbearable, he couldn't help but scream. The air in his longs seemed to evaporate in the same time the blade was withdrawing from his body. Gasping for air he fell to his knees. The taste of blood filled his mouth and forced itself through his lips. Looking up at the Elite, he saw the twin bladed sword over the Elite's head ready to deliver the final blow. _

_--------_

_Back draw, dodge and avoid. That was all Mikey could do. The Elite with the axe was a quick swinger with his weapon, and it made it almost impossible to hit. Drawn to the edge of the building, he was almost certain that he would fall. His nun chucks spinning in both of his hands, he was waiting for the opportunity to strike, and he just didn't know when it would be. He was glad that he just had the Elite on his hands; he would be a lost cost if the Foot ninjas were there too._

_The Elite stroke the axe towards him, but Mikey managed to dodge the weapon and stroke his right nunchuck at the Elite's abdomen. The Elite took a step back, and Mikey saw his chance. He made a jump with a spin and kicked the Elite on his back. The axe dropped to his feet and Mikey put his nunchucks in his belt and clenched the axe, looking at the thick blade that had given him the small cuts on his arms and cheeks. His eyes met the Elite's and higher the weapon over him. _

_Before he even could touch the man with the axe, he was gone in the purple fog. Mikey clenched to the weapon even harder as he looked his surroundings. As soon as he was him, we got kicked on his shell with the axe dropped from his hands. He leaned against the pipe that went through the roof as he stood up, his hand on his plastron. The pain told him that he, more that certainly would get bad bruises there tomorrow, if he lived that long. _

_He's attentions was drawn to a very familiar scream. He's eyes demanded to search for the source of the painful cry out. The eyes found what they were searching for. It was Don; he was on his knees screaming in pain as blood flowed out from his open wound on his left shoulder._

"_Donnie" Mikey cried out. The twin bladed sword possessor situated in front of him with the deadly weapon over his head, ready to strike. Don didn't move, even if he was aware of the tool over his head. He couldn't do much to stop it, and he knew it. But Mikey wouldn't let his brother die, not as long he was alive and breathing._

_He dodged the axe that was aimed for him by rolling. The axe cleaved itself stuck in the roof, and the Elite had a hard time reclaim it to his possession again. Mikey took the opportunity to strike, and punched the ninja all the way to the edge, just so he could deliver the final blow that made him fall off the roof._

_As soon as he had, hopefully dropped the Elite ninja to his death, he made his way over to Donnie. He had to rescue his brother from the deaths grip. That was his task, not ever letting a brother of his die while he could prevent it._

_Running and running, it felt like forever. Everything went in slow motions. His mind played pranks on him that he wouldn't make it, or that he would just make it worse. One step, two steps, the time stopped. The sword approached his brother's head. He had to jump, and so he jumped. Flying towards his sibling and the enemy, Mikey grabbed Donnie before the blade could hit him. Both of them went off in Mikey's movement before they crashed into the wall. He had succeeded; he had saved his brother from a certain death. And then, the pain relived itself. He's right leg cried out in suffer and pain. _

_-----_

_Breathing heavily, he had defeated one of the Elite that he had fought. The one with the spear was lying on his back; stabbed with his own weapon through the chest. He was well aware of the situation of his brothers. Don and Mikey were both bad injured and they still had one of the Elite on their shells. Leo was doing pretty well against the Shredder. A few cuts and bruises, but nothing serious. Raph himself had a pretty nasty cuts on his arms and legs, and maybe a few ribs broken. But that didn't keep him from keep on fighting. _

_The trident stroke at his left arm; stabbing it just a bit before he dodged it. His sai stroke against his face and cut him deep in his cheek. Both of them jumped back starring at each other. Raph took a deep breath before he went forwards again, cutting in the air with his sais as the Elite dodged them. He gave him a kick on his plastron and sent him flying towards into his comrade and made both of them hit the ground. Leaning against the wall Mikey asked concerned; "Raph, yo okay?" The tone in his voice revealed the pain he felt._

_Raph breathed heavily and tired in the air in his lungs. "Yeah," Raph took his hand to help him get up. "Never been better"._

"_We have to get out of here, before we turned into dead turtles" Donnie said, he's voice failing him._

"_Workin' on it" Raph pushed himself up and stabbed the Elite that just had taken down in his fall, in his abdomen with both his sais. The other Elite were running towards him with the trident pointing at him. He tried to drag out his weapons before he would be stabbed, but he didn't have the strength to do it in time._

"_Look out!" Mikey screamed. He didn't really have the time to react when he fell back on his shell as his sais came loose. Donnie's bo staff cut through the open space over him and lunched towards the Elite, blocking his attach and made him loose his grip on the trident. Quick as a rabbit, Raph jumped up on his feet and kicked the Elite on his back. He lunched at him ready to cut the Elite's throat, until a scream stopped his actions._

_Fear cut into his heart. Turning his head to the other side of the roof, he couldn't believe his sight. It was a prank his mind had made up, cause it couldn't be true, it was impossible. The Shredder was holding one of Leo's katanas through Leo's chest. A devastating laughter came from Saki as he cut the sword deeper so it made its way through._

"_Leo" He managed to scream._

_The three turtles watched how their bitter nemesis cut their brother's sword deeper into his chest. The scream wasn't the only thing that made their hearts broke, it was his eyes that delivered the pain. Donnie and Mikey managed to stand up. Donnie pressed his hand on his wound to stop the blood from flowing. The both of them strangled to keep themselves from falling. Leo managed to take his remaining katana he had in his right hand and cut it in Saki's leg. Saki's body reacted by forcing him to go backwards. Leo toke the opportunity to pull out his katana with from his chest with his right arm._

_"You're not leaving this roof alive" The Shredder threatened before he stroke against Leo's plastron, making him take a few steps backwards._

"_We have to help Leo" Donnie said to Mikey with horror in his eyes._

_Without hesitation they tried to make their way over to him. Raph blocked the Elite's strike, but he was distracted of his brothers when all of them were badly injured, and maybe stood in front of death. _

_The sound of metal against metal made him reclaim the distraction. He had to be quick if he was about to leave here alive with his brothers. His heart punched hard in his chest, he was tired, so tired that he just could close his eyes and drift off to the world of sleep. But he wouldn't let that happen. He cut his sais in the air, while the Elite dodged them. He couldn't understand how the Elite had so much strength left; he didn't seem tired at all. But that thought disappeared as soon as he heard Leo's respond of Shredders statement. _

"_Well, neither will you" His older brother said determinate. _

_He knew exactly what that meant, he was positive. From the beginning when Leo had stopped him from attacking Saki, he had planned to not to leave this battle alive. With that thought in his mind he got furious. How could Leo do that to them?_

_Gripping his hands harder on his sais he was determinate to kill this Elite bastard. He's killing intentions was on full speed. He cut the Elite against his abdomen, but the Elite made a volt so he landed behind him. Raph was counting on it and stroke his sai backward in the back of the Elite, and finished it with a kick. _

_He didn't have the time to see if the Elite was lying flat on the ground or not. He had to save Leo from his death path, and he could only do so by deliver the final blow on the Shredder. He rushed his way over to the other side of the roof. Mikey and Donnie had to deal with some of the Foot ninjas so they hadn't been able to assist Leo with their help, which was a relief for Raph. In their state, they wouldn't last long; at least they could still fight against the small fry. _

_Leo stroke his katana with his right arm into its twin that the Shredder had in his possession. Raph could tell by his slow movements that he had lost a lot of blood. Saki had some flesh wounds on his body, jet not enough to make him lose his grip on the fight. He kicked Leo on his shell, so he dropped his sword. Saki placed a foot on his plastron and took the twin katana with both his hands so he could stab it through the other side of Leo's chest. _

"_This is the end" The Shredder said ready to strike._

_Raph jumped towards the Shredder and kicked him away from his brother. "YAH LIVE MY BROTHERS ALONE!" He yelled and went after him as soon as he had his feet on his ground. _

"_I will be delivering the final blow for you too" Saki said and cut against him with his brother's sword. _

_He managed to avoid them, and realized that Saki had started to lose the grip of himself. His body didn't respond as quickly as his head wanted it to, so the strikes were easier to avoid. The final strike was delivered in the air as Raph avoided it. He didn't give him a chance to think before he stroke both his sais in both sides of the Shredder's chest. _

_Saki gave a screaming sound from his lips, falling to the ground. Raph looked at him for a split second before his eyes wanted to look at his brother. He forgot about his weapons that remained in the Shredders body. He turned around and walked towards his older brother that was trying to stand up._

"_Don't strangle yahself" Raph said while he got to his side and made him lie down._

"_Is-he-dead?" Leo asked while gasping for air._

"_Yeah" Was the only word that he could say as his eyes looked at the deep flesh wound on his chest. Mikey and Don had defeated the Foot soldiers or they had escaped the moment the Shredder had fallen to the ground. _

"_Leo?" Mikey asked while he crawled closer to his brothers. Both he and Don sat down beside them breathing heavily. "Yo okay, bro?"_

_Leo was about to answer that, as he started too caught up blood. His vision was starting to fail him and he was as tired as he could sleep at least a month. He knew it wasn't long before he would fall into unconsciousness. _

"_We have to get him home before he lost consciousness" Donn determinate. His pain had vanished the moment Leo had been stabbed. The only thing he had in mind now was to get Leo home before he died by blood lose. He got himself on his feet and helped Leo get up on his feet. "Mikey grab Leo's katanas"_

"_Right on it" Mikey said and limped over to reclaim the swords._

_Raph turned to Saki and pulled out his weapons. Turning again he looked at Don and Leo. Leo was almost gone in unconsciousness, as he thought that they would lose him if they didn't hurry._

"_Raph look out!" Don suddenly yelled at him._

_He reacted as quick as his head and body allowed, but it wasn't soon enough. The Shredder was only inches from cutting his throat, as Leo made his way over to them and took the Shredder over the edge with him._

"_LEO!" the three turtles screamed in terror. They got to the edge of the roof, just to find that their biggest nightmare had come true. "LEO, LEO!!!" They screamed just to get a reaction from their oldest brother that lied on the roof of the building beside. _

_They climbed the fire escape down to the other building. Before they had put a foot on it Karai had made her way to the building. Before they could stop her she had taken the Shredder and vanished. But right now their only concern was Leo._

"_LEO!" Raph yelled with terror in his voice while he approached his brother. Don and Mikey limped over to them as quick as they could. Raph place his hands on his brother's shoulders and tried to get a response from him. "Leo! Come on, stay with us." _

_Leo's eyes widen a bit and said something to that only Raph heard, and then he shut them close again. Raph got a horrified look in his eyes. He understood the words, but still he was clueless. _

"_Leo, come on, yo can't leave us bro" Mikey said heartbreaking, tears falling from his eyes._

"_Raph take Leo, we need to get home fast!" Don ordered._

_-----------_

_Entering the lair, the three turtles headed to the infirmary the fastest as they possible could. Raph lay Leo down on the operation table. Don put down Mikey on the chair across the room and he went to grab the gear he needed._

_Master Splinter entered the room and saw the nasty cuts and wounds on his sons' bodies. It was a blood trail from the door, through the main room and into the infirmary where the floor was covered in blood .He saw Leo lie on the table with the nasty open wounds in his chest. The blood was flowing, and covered the floor under the table. "Leonardo" He said concerned and felt a hush of pain stab him in his heart._

"_Raph, get me the IV line!" Don commanded. Without hesitations his brother did exactly what he was told. Donatello placed two fingers on Leo's neck to check for a pulse. "He's going to be okay" He said till Michelangelo to calm him, but he knew he was lying, he could feel a very small one, and it was dropping, and it was fast. It made him realize that he couldn't do anything._

"_Here" Raph said and handed the IV line to Don, but he didn't take it. He just stood there, glazing at Leo without a reaction. "Don" Raph yelled cutting him from his daydreaming. But he didn't snap out of it._

"_DON!" Mikey yelled even louder. _

"_I… I can't…. help him" He declared with a shaking and frightened voice. "He's going to die, Leo's going to die"_

_They all went stunned as those words slipped from his mouth. They were going to lose him, their beloved brother was dying, and it was nothing he could do to prevent it. The worst fear he ever had, was happening. All the intelligent and knowledge he had couldn't help, he was useless. Even if he called April she wouldn't be there in time to save Leo._

"_No, yo can't stop now!" Mikey screamed in horror. "What if yo did that electric-stab thingy that they do on the TV?"_

"_No, it won't help" Donnie said with tears in his eyes and pain in his voice. His body started to shake as the emotion filled him up with sadness._

_It went quiet as Leo took his last and final breath. In the same moment, the family took their last and final breath as a whole family, as their family died. They all had tears running down their cheeks. They never imagined that the lost would be so painful, so frightening, and so lonely._

_A goodbye._

_----_

Mikey shut his eyes wide open and sat up in his bed with a rush. Tears had started to fall from his eyes as he remembered the nightmare of how he lost his oldest brother three years ago. All the pain and sorrow that he felt then, hit him and he started to cry.

* * *

So.... What did you think?? Please tell me!!

Bye for now


	6. Chapter 6

Hi! I'm really sorry that it took so long, and that this one is so short. But I will make it up to you, the next chapter shall be longer ^^

Thanks for all ;)

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Chapter 6: A Punch in the Wall

* * *

Tears made their way down Mikey's cheeks. He hadn't had that nightmare for almost a year now. Yeah, he had nightmares, but it was about monsters or something else. He thought he had accepted it. _Leo was gone, his big brother would always be there in his heart and mind and he would want him to smile and laugh like he used to_, that was what he told himself last year. And after he had accepted that, the nightmares had stopped. He became himself again, the way he was when Leo was there, but still not as goofy, though. He had grown up a little, but not too much.

After a month, he had the normal nightmares again, those he had before. And yeah, even though he hadn't that nightmare, he was still hoping to wake up one morning and find out that he had dreamt everything. That Leo would wake him up in the middle of the nightmare like he had done sense they were kids. But every time he woke up either it was by himself or that Master Splinter, or Donnie or Raph woke him up, it was a disappointment.

He sobbed for a few minutes, until he could calm himself down enough so he could go back to sleep. But as soon as he put his head on the pillow, he heard something coming downstairs. Curious as he was, he wanted to know what or who it was. He got out of the bed and went out from his room and into the lair. He saw light coming from the kitchen.

He peeked into the kitchen and saw Don sit by the table with a cup of coffee in his hands while hanging with his head. He seemed tired, he had dark rings under his eyes, and he gave away a big yawn. Mikey went in and sat down on his chair.

"Hi Don, why are yo up so late?" He asked and looked at the watch over the doorframe.

Donnie looked up at him. "Couldn't sleep. What about you?"

"The same" He said while trying to hide his watery eyes and the slowly fading fear.

"Oh" He said and looked back down on his hands that were wrapped around his cup.

They both just sat there in the silence. Both wrapped deep in their own thoughts. The only sound came from their deep breaths, the ticking clock and from a dripping pipe somewhere in the lair. Otherwise it was silence.

They sat there for minutes, which seemed like hours. But the silence cracked when they heard a bang coming from somewhere in the lair. Quick they both looked up and into the lair and then on each other.

"What was that?" Mikey asked his brother.

Don stood up and looked at the door. He walked out from the kitchen to find the source of the sound. Mikey followed him closely; a bit scared of what it could be. His mind started to think of a million things that it could be. Most of them where monsters that he seen from all the monster movies he ever seen.

"I think it's coming from upstairs" Don said and looked up.

"What if it is a monster?" Mikey asked a bit scared. "Or the psychopath from the movie I saw last night that cut out your brain and feed it to his sick mother"

Don looked at him stunned and started shaking his head. "Remind me to never let you see a scary movie again." He said and continued to walk up the stairs. When they had made their way up the stairs they heard the bang again. They both looked at the room next to the stairs. Leo's room.

They looked at each other with a sad look on their faces. Then they went into the room and were shocked at the scene in front of them. There they had Raphael standing in the room with his right fist punched into the wall and clenching teeth. This was the first time Raph had been in Leo's room sense they had cleaned it. It was the first time for them as well, but they never imagined that they would find him in there.

"Raph… What are yo doing in here?" Mikey asked concerned. He looked around in the room. He never imagined that it would be so empty. Yeah, Leo's room had always been the room with less things or furniture, but now it was even emptier. There were only a bed, a bookshelf and a nightstand. The other things had they cleaned up. They had restored it in a small room in the garage. He didn't know why they didn't throw it away; he guessed it was because they still hoped that he would comeback, that it all was just a bad dream.

"I hate him" Raph finally said. Mikey looked back at his read banded brother in surprise. "I hate him for dying" He said again. His voice filed with both anger and grief.

"Raph" Don started and went to his side and put his hand on his shoulder. "You have to let go."

Raph didn't turn to face him. "He knew he would die!"

"What are you talking about?" Don asked not really catching up.

"He said it, Don!" Raph said angry and finally turned to face him.

"Yo had the nightmare too, didn't yo?" Mikey said with a shaking voice. Both of his brothers looked stunned at him, like they knew exactly what he meant. "Yo had it too, didn't yo?" He looked at Don that nodded.

They all went silence. This was a bit scary, they all had the same dream, the same night and they all had woken up from it almost at the same time. They didn't know if it was a coincident or not. Maybe it was because they found Leo's katana that they started to think about that night again. It was one thing that they knew, they didn't like it.

---------------------

Last night event honestly freaked me out a bit. Both of my brothers had dreamt about Leo's death as I had. I can't say the same thing about them, but for me, it felt so real. Like I was there again. I swear I felt every punch and every cut my body achieved then. When I woke up I could still feel a itching on my scares.

I had almost forgotten the fight we had then. We always fought, that was a normal day for us and that one wasn't unlike all the others. It started like it always used to, me not listening to Leo, but it didn't end like it used to. Leo had just given up, just like that. Normally we fought 'til both of us were too tired to move. But he gave up and I didn't know why and still don't!

It had darkened only about an hour ago. Now we're out runnin', patrolling or whatsoever. There was something familiar on the news this morning. The robberies and the disappearance of some people have come back again. And a gut feelin' is telling me that it's the work of this "Elite". The Foot is back, I just know it. It's just harder to convince Don and Mikey. I think they don't want to believe it.

There's a storm approaching. I can hear it's growling just a few miles away. I can see the small flash of light in the clouds in front of us. We're running directly towards it, or it's more like I'm leadin' us towards it.

We're supposed to go to the warehouse which was robbed last night. I want to see if we can find out who it was. If it really was the Foot as my gut feelin' is telling me.

I'm jumpin' between the roofs to get there with both my brothers right after me. But then I'm spottin' something in the corner of my left eye. I'm turnin' my eyes to the buildin' next to us and to my surprise I'm stoppin' suddenly and making my brothers runnin' straight into me.

"Hey, watch where you're going, man" Mikey's complaining while backin' of off me.

"What is it?" Donnie's asking and turnin' to the direction that I'm lookin' at.

"It's him" Is my only replay as I'm takin' out my beloved sais from my belt.

"Who?" Mikey's asking and taking out his nunchucks.

I can't help but roll my eyes and I know Donnie's doing the same. I'm lookin' back at the guy on the other buildin' while hiding myself behind the ledge. He's still standin' in the shadows but I can still see that's him. There's not so many other people that wonderin' around on the roofs and especially not with that kind of hat.

"You're sure it's him?" Donnie's asking while he's takin' the seat next to me.

I'm just nodding, still have my eyes put. It seems like he's waiting for something or someone. But for who? For them?

"Hey guys…" Mikey's saying while sitting next to Don. "Isn't that the roof where…." He didn't finish.

"Where?" I'm askin' a little tense and a bit harsh and turnin' to him. When he doesn't look back at me and just starrin' at the roof I'm seein' a bit of fear in his eyes. I'm lookin' back to see what he means and then I'm seein' it is the roof I've been goin' to none stop for 3 years. It has only been lately that I haven't been goin' to it, not sense the Elite scum showed up. I can't help but grinning my teeth in anger.

"What should we do?" Don's asking with a serious voice and a bit doubt.

"I'm saying we kick butts!" I'm saying determent and standing up with one foot on the ledge knowing that I'm sounding like the old Raphael. "Hey Elite scum!" I'm screaming to get his attention and jumping over to the other roof.

The guy is turning to look at me and dragging out his swords from his back. I can't help but notice that he has replaced the other sword. And he's gonna have to replace the other one too if he'll come out from this alive.

"Raph!" Don's saying while he and Mikey is jumpin' over to me. But I'm not paying him any attention.

"He's mine!" I'm saying and running towards the Elite who is answering me by doing so himself. Both or weapons is along our sides as we coming towards one another. His blades are dragging along on the roof, making the metal sharp sound while doing so. As we're only inches from each other our weapons are being cut up in the air and then collide.

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

Hi! Here's the next chapter. Thanks for reading =P

Enjoy!!!

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Chapter 7: The Shock

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A sharp metallic noise echoed in the city with the sound of the rough mumbles from the storm that were approaching. It had already started raining at the end of the city and it was just matters of minutes before it would be raining over them as well.

The scene before them amassed them a little. The sharp strikes from both of the fighters were sharp and harsh, both determined to win. The face on Raph's feature could only describe with vengeance. They could tell that he was angry and sad. He had believed that the Foot was gone for good, and they too had hoped that. But it was clearly that they weren't.

None of them had believed their older brother when he had told them about the elite. They didn't want to believe it, they couldn't believe it and they refused to believe it. The only reason they had followed him was that he wouldn't shut up about it. And he had proved them wrong.

Mikey just stood there on the roof, about 9 feet away from the fight, just like Don. They didn't know if they should bump into the fight or not. Raph seemed to handle it fine but you can't trust the Foot clan.

"Give back my brother's sword!" Raph yelled at the guy and tried to hit the katana out of the Elite's hand. But the guy managed to get away with his arm before he even had the chance.

Raph growled angry at him. He continued the fight, and their weapons collide numberless of times. Don didn't know if he should get into the fight too. Raph seemed to handle it fine, but there was something that wasn't quite right. He could see something in Raph that he hadn't seen for a long time, the old Raphael. The way he was fighting, it was impatient and aggressive.

None of them had believed him when he first told them about the Elite. They knew something was wrong when they had found Leo's katana on the floor in the lair, but they didn't believe him. Don himself had refused himself to believe it. Not because he didn't want to believe him, he just couldn't take it all again. It was too painful.

But now when the Elite stood there right in front of his eyes, he couldn't deny it anymore. He could clearly see the well known katana in the enemy's hand. And he wanted to just tear it from his hand just so he could take back what was left of his oldest brother, the piece that was missing.

His mind had drifted off from the fight. And when he finally dragged his thoughts out from his mind and into the fight again, he got shocked. It was raining and the storm was right above them now. On the roof laid Raph flat on his shell with his eyes on the Elite that had Leo's katana just a few inches from his throat.

---------------------

My breathin' is heavy. Every attempt that I'm tryin' to strike him with, he sees through. It's kinda like he knows my moves before I even makes them. There are only two people that can do that, one of them is Master Splinter and the other one is, or was Leo. And the thought of him doin' exactly what they did, makes me sick. Who does he think he is?

Again I'm tryin' to hit him, but of course he is blocking it. Somehow he is forcin' my sais from my hands and they are bein' thrown behind him. My eyes are fallowing my beloved weapons and I'm not aware of the kick in my stomach that he delivered next. My feet stumbling back a bit before my brain is register the pain my body just received. In the corner of my right eye I can see how badly Mikey wants to help me and he is takin' out his nun chucks before he is about to jump in. But I'm takin' up my hand to tell him to not interfere. He's not sayin' anything, he's face just got a bit disappointed and worried.

I know he wants to help, but I want to do this myself. If I only could take back Leo's katana, that's my goal right now. Maybe that could make up to the last fight me and Leo had before he died, I may never know if he truly forgives me, but I've to believe it so I finally can move on with my life.

The Elite is comin' straight at me, his swords is dragging against the concrete and makin' that sharp metal noise. In a split second he is cutting in the air and I'm stumbling backwards to avoid that my head is fallin' off. I'm fallin' flat on my shell and the panic is striking in my body. My eyes are closing as I'm hitting the concrete and a million thoughts are runnin' through my head.

The thunder is cracking my eyes wide open and I can see the Elite holding Leo's katana only inches from my neck. Behind him the storm is rising with anger and lightning is flashing in the sky. The rain is fallin' on my face and I'm not moving an inch. I'm terrified that this might be my last breath and that my brothers are going to witness it. They have already lost one big brother, they can't lose another one even if I'm ready to accept it, and I just can't leave them like this!

"Raph!" Mikey's screamin' with horror and is runnin' towards me with his nun chucks spinning in his hands. Don is takin' out his bo staff ready to accompany Mikey. But a voice is stopping them and makin' us all freeze.

"Stop!"

My eyes are lookin' for the source of the voice. I'm recognizing it, and it's just takin' me a second to remember that stiff Japanese accent, Karai. She appears on the building next to us with at least fifteen Foot soldiers and three other Elites.

Somehow I knew this would happen. If there is one, there is always some more nearby. She has probably seen everything and has just waited for this to happen.

I'm feelin' the cold metal bein' put away from my neck and I'm lookin' at where it was just a moment before. I'm lookin' at the Elite that is movin' away from me and I'm not hesitating to stand up. Mikey and Don is walkin' to my side for back up and still holdin' a sharp eye on both Karai and the Elite.

"You're O.K?" Don's askin' and is givin' me back my sais.

"Yeah, just some bruises" I'm sayin' and takin' them from his hands. I'm lookin' up on the building and can't help but growling at the black dressed woman before us. "What do you want Karai?"

"I'm here to take back the Foot's territory" She's answerin' with her cold voice. But there is somethin' new in her voice, and I can't really say what it is.

"Over my dead body!" I'm sayin' and standin' in a defensive position ready to cut her head off from that slim body of hers.

"That can be arranged"

The voice is takin' me off guard. Out from the shadows is a metal armor stepping out in the light and standin' next to Karai. The red eyes are glowin' with fury and determination. The claws on the armor are pointing at us like if they could cut our heads off our body from that distance.

My body is shivering with emotions. Anger, hate shock and horror. None of us dare to say anything, it's like we hope that this is just another nightmare and that if any sound is escaping from our mouth and then the nightmare is going to continue.

"No-- it can't be you're—you're" Mikey's sayin' with fear and breaking the silence when he's starting to get out of the shock.

"You're dead!" Don's finishing for him also breaking out from the shock.

The Shredder is starin' to laugh. He's sayin' something, but I can't hear it, I'm still in shock. This has to be a nightmare, or I have to be insane. This can't be the reality, he was dead, he is dead! I saw it with my own eyes, Leo killed him. He was thrown from a fuckin' building, on this fuckin' building! He is supposed to be dead! He can't be alive; Leo can't have died in vain!

The shock is fadin' into anger, pure anger. "You're supposed to be dead!" I'm screamin' with all the anger and fury in my voice. "You can't be alive, Leo can't have died in vain! You died with him!"

All the eyes is on me, I can feel them piercing into my boiling body but I don't care. This is not for real. That fuckin' bastard is dead! And even if I've to punch that into his fuskin' brain, he is dead!

"Oh yes, Leonardo." Saki's sayin' with a bit ironic in his tone that is makin' my temper go even further to exploding.

"Don't you dare say his name!" Mikey's screamin' with more anger that I've ever had.

"We saw you fall from the roof, there's no way that you can be alive. Even if you did survive the fall, you could never survive those injuries!" Don's explaining.

Again Saki's is laughin' his cold hearted laugh that makes you chill all the way into your bones.

"I guess I have to thank your brother for that"

"What?!" All three of us are shouting out, not believing what we're hearing.

"There is no way Leo would help you!" I'm screamin'.

"Is that so?" The tone in his voice has a bit of satisfaction in it, which is makin' me even angry. Leo would never do it; he would die before that happened. "Why don't we ask him?"

The three of us wince by surprise. But we snapped out of it quick.

"Leo's dead" Don is sayin' and we all hear the pain in his voice.

Saki isn't sayin' anything and our eyes are fallin' on Elite that just moments before almost killed me. He has taken off his hat and the face is exposed to the light from the City and the lightning from the storm.

My heart just stopped, my breath is stayin' inside my lungs and my brain is denying the sight. The green skin is no longer hidden in the shadows and instead of a blue mask it's a black one. The word wants to call out to its holder. But the sound can't be found in my throat.

For three long years I have wished for this, and now that I'm facin' it, I can't believe it. My big brother is standin' right in front on me, of us. Alive and well. A smile is cracking, but is fadin' just as soon as it's about to revive itself.

"Leo?" Mikey's sayin' with denying, sadness, happiness, shock and all the other emotions that exist. He's takin' a step towards our brother, and then another one. He can't seem to run even if his mind wants to.

Leo is lookin' at him with no emotions at all, just a blank face. And when Mikey is close to him, a voice is breaking the silence.

"Kill them!" Shredder is demandin' coldly.

And right away Leo is taking his weapons and strikes.

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Next chapter will be up soon I hope!! Bye til then!


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry for the long update, had a lot to do in school, soon it will be over! - Yay for that! =D

Anyway, here it chapter 8, enjoy ^^

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Chapter 8: Cries

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_The whole lair was in silence. No one had spoken a single word for 2 whole days. And Mikey had stayed in his room ever sense he finally understood that his oldest brother wasn't coming back. He had been lying in his bed the whole time. He wanted to wake up from the nightmare that was lying over their home. And while he was not crying, he slept all day and night and was dreaming of the time when they were all too small to know what death was. And every time he woke up, he realized that it was all a dream._

_Don had locked himself in his lab and didn't dare to go out of there. If he would the reality would strike him back to the grief and crying. His mind was in totally denying and he only sat in front of the computer and was searching for all the ways that may bring his brother back to life. He only left the room when he needed to go to the bathroom, but came straight back and locked the door. _

_Master Splinter had disappeared into his room when he had sensed that his son was gone. He too had locked himself into his own world of grief. He could never believe that one of his sons would die before him, and the thought of it had scared him. He knew his other sons needed a father to help them through their grief, but he couldn't bare the sight of them as he didn't know how to help them through it. He couldn't even help himself, how could he help them get over the lost of their brother?_

_Once his brother's last breath had left the room, Raph had stormed out. He had run out from the lair and out from the sewers and kept on running. He didn't stop not until his body couldn't take a single step more and he collapsed on the ground. It wasn't till then he started to cry and scream. All the pain and grief came at the same time. And it didn't take long before the anger boiled up within him. He wanted revenge, and swore that he would make the whole foot clan pay for taking the only big brother he had away._

_Even though Mikey knew that his family suffered as much as he did, he couldn't bring himself to go and see them. He knew where they all were, even though Raph was out seeking vengeance. He too wanted revenge but he couldn't leave the lair in case Leo would wake up. In his comic books the hero dose not die, and if they did they always came back much stronger than they were before. And in movies the hero doesn't die in the middle of it, which would only be a bad movie! He is supposed to take care of the family, take care of the monsters and take care of his baby brother._

_A stream of tears was about to come again and he didn't hesitate to let it flow. It stung a little when the salty tears started to come, as his eyes were already red and swollen of all the crying. He had his pillow in his lap and buried his face in it. After a little while he started to feel tired again and his body felt numb of tiredness. While he was about to drift off to sleep the door to the lair swung open._

"_Hello guys?" A familiar voice yelled after a few seconds. _

"_Guys? Are you here?"_

_Mikey didn't know if he should go and see his two human friends. But no one else would do it either and he remembered that none of them knows what have happened. So he pushed himself out of the bed and walked out from his room. Even though he didn't want to talk to them or anyone else by the matter, he couldn't just ignore them. _

_He walked down to the stairs to the main room and on his way down he saw his human friends walking around in the lair and observing all the old pizza boxes and leftovers that were lying around that they hadn't bother cleaning up. When he came down to the first floor he saw the door to the lab opened up and a broken Donatello came out._

"_There you are" Said a pregnant April and turn to face him. "We've been calling for you…" She looked at Don with surprise. "Don, what happen? Why are you crying? Mikey?"_

_The thought of her asking it made him want to cry again. He started to sob and heard Donny mumble something between his own sobbing. When he didn't hear any cry or anything from both April and Casey, he looked at them with a bit of anger for not even make a sound. But the sight of them made him lose the anger. Both were in shock and it didn't take long before both of them started to cry. April that didn't try to hid it let her tears flow down her cheeks while Casey just let the tears slip down without making any sound. _

_-----_

_The days went by and he couldn't remember how long it had been. It was all black and fussy in his mind and before he even could notice, it was the funeral. He didn't know who made the preparations or how many days had gone sense the death and he didn't even care. It was all too painful to think about it. He felt lost and no matter how much he wanted it to go away, it never would. _

_They had found a forest not too far from the city. It would only take about an hour and a half to get there by walking and it was a nature reserve so it didn't come so many humans there. They had found a beautiful place near a small lake that would be his brother's resting place. _

_Friends from everywhere had come to say their final goodbyes and honor his brother. He deserved the best and there was no grater honor than dying in combat by protecting his family. Everything was like Mikey wanted it to be, everybody was there, the sky was crying and memories from a happier time went through his mind. The only thing that was missing was his brother's twin katana that deserved to be buried with their master. And with those gone, it didn't feel right to bury him without them, even though it wouldn't feel right at all even if they were here. _

_The family stayed the longest. Mikey was all out of tears and just sat there, looking at the stone that had the inscription:_

_**Hamato Leonardo**_

_**Beloved brother and son**_

_**Fought for his loved once**_

_**And never gave up**_

_He read it about a thousand times, all over and over in his head. So wrong, so wrong. According to Mikey, Leo did give up. He didn't fight for his loved once, he died. And by dying he left them and allowed himself to die meant that he gave up. He was angry, sad and terrified. The world wouldn't be the same anymore and the family was going to break without the rock that held them together._

------

The memories went through Mikey's head and god how he wanted to cry that day. He had cried nonstop before the funeral and after it, but not during it. All the others had cried for his lost brother, even the sky had shared its tears. And now he couldn't believe what he was seeing. They buried him, deep into the ground. He was there and he saw it with his own two eyes. He was speechless and in shock. He had his nun chucks in his hands but they were still and just waited to slip through his hands and drop to the ground.

The Foot had joined the fight and their master left the building along with Karai probably thinking they would die by their brother's hands. Donatello fought with the Foot ninjas still trying to understand what had just happened. He desperately tried to look at Leonardo and see if he really was there. But the Foot ninjas made it difficult to even think much less to look at the direction he wanted.

Raphael fought with Leonardo. He blocked all Leo's attacks while trying to talk some sense in his brother. He had got through the shock pretty quick and was first to drag his weapons against his brother.

Leo had come at him with full speed and his move was quick. One blink of an eye could make him loose his head.

"Leo it's me, Raphael!" Raph said while blocking and following Leo's move as good as he could. He dodged the flying katana over his head and rolled at the side, standing quick on his two legs. "What the hell Leo!" He yelled and started to get angry. But Leo didn't stop. He stroke without hesitations and every stroke was destined to kill.

Raph dodged every one of them, but just barely. He didn't try to fight and in the end Leo kicked him on his shell sending his katanas right after him. Raph dragged his sais into a cross and the katanas slammed into them. And again and again, and made it difficult for Raph to get away. His arms were starting to get tired and he had to get away. He kicked his brother on his abdomen and made him stumbled backwards. Raph jumped up on his feet and attacked his brother. He was mad and it was boiling inside of him. He was not mad at his brother, but at the Shredder for making him fight his own family.

Mikey had snapped out from the shock and was now joining his brothers in the fight. He didn't have a choice though cause the Foot had attacked him as well. He kicked one ninja in the back and jumped up on his shoulders and slammed his nun chuck in his head and then jumping off of him. The ninja went dizzy and fall unconscious on the ground, making it one less ninja to defeat. The Foot ninjas were still at the same level as before. And Mikey had gotten a little bit stronger than before and it made it pretty easy to defeat the Foot. But just as always the ninjas didn't stop coming.

Don had it a bit difficult to fight the ninjas he was up against. 2 Foot Tech ninjas that had made themselves invisible and it made it hard to fight. Yeah he had defeated them before but this time he didn't have his heat vision goggles. He had to rely on his hearing and gut feeling.

He was kicked back and forward between them until he fell flat on his stomach. He listened for their footsteps and knocked them off of their feet. He jumped up on his own feet and tried to hear them stand up. He circled around while waiting for them to make a move. He didn't notice the strike until he felt the pain on his left arm and right shoulder. A warm liquid started to ran down his arm and shoulder and he didn't have to look at it to understand that he had been cut. And he knew he would get a lot more if he didn't finish this quick.

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Sorry, I had planed that this chapter would be longer, but I had to go to sleep, school's tomorrow...

If anyone has any idea how this will play out, please share it with me ^^

Bye now, see you next time XD


	9. Chapter 9

Hi again! I'm really sorry for the long update! But you see, I have a bit of a problem... I don't know what's gonna happen and I need some help! So please if you have any ideas of what can happen then please tell me =D

And thanks for all the reviews!!

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Chapter 9: Left to die

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Dodging, hitting, blocking, jumping, kicking and cutting and it repeat itself over and over again until we both gets thrown till each end of the building. I'm tryin' to stand up, but my body is so exhausted that it refuses to listen. I just manage to get on all four breathin' heavy and just feelin' how my muscles are screamin' and protesting after the long hour of intensive fight and avoiding losin' my head. The sweat is runnin' down my forehead and dripping down on the concrete. The reunion that I hoped for the second I saw my brother wasn't like I hoped it to be.

I'm turnin' my face towards my brother just to see him stand on his legs on the other side of the roof watchin' me and holding his katanas down to face the concrete. His face is determined and shows no sign of exhaustion. He is supposed to be standing on all four just like me and have hard time breathin'. How can he just stand there like nothing?

My eyes are passing him and lookin' over to the roof just two buildings away where my other brothers are fighting for their lives. Just like me they have a hard time fighting the Foot and the Elites. Neither the Shredder nor Karai have joined the fight and are just watching.

Screeching sounds of metal on the concrete is dragging my attention back to my brother and see him runnin' towards me. I'm trying to push myself up, but my body refuses to move. The panic is starting to crawl up as he comes closer and then the adrenaline is kicking in and my body jumps away as he slams his swords on the concrete. And in just a few milliseconds after, he is right after me cuttin' in the air in hope of spreading my blood.

As every cut is made in the air, I'm continuing backing away, still facing my brother. I hear him growl as his patient is starting to lose itself. My eyes are looking up at him and it's the first time I really have had a chance to see him clearly. He's scared with both old and new cuts; some of them still have dried blood on them. And behind that black mask his eyes seems so lost but still determinate and strong. But sadness is striking me as I realize that I don't recognize them. They look just like they did last time I saw them, his hazel brown eyes are replaced by dark lifeless ones. The hope that I have is slowly fading as I'm thinking that I might be fighting a body with no soul, and what Mikey would call it; a zombie.

"What'd they do to ya, bro?" I'm asking with a small whisper and not expecting an answer.

He cuts at me again and I'm taking one step back, but this time I slip on something and my whole body is falling backwards. I hit the concrete and looking up at my brother that is standing over me and looking at me.

"You left me in the ground to die" He says and higher his swords but I don't take my eyes off of his. And then my world goes black.

------

Beep, nothing, beep, nothing. The sound is entering my head and it feels like someone is playing drums right beside me. My whole body is hurting and I feeling nauseas, like I'm gonna throw up in any second. Beep, nothing, beep, nothing. This sound is driving me crazy and it isn't helping my headache at all. Another sound is entering my head, no not a sound, a voice, two voices.

"Is he gonna wake up soon?"

"Yeah, I hope so."

Both of the voices are sounding so down, so sad.

"How is your arm? Does it hurt much?"

"The pain killers are taking most of the pain away, but yeah, it hurts".

Pain? Someone's hurt? Concern and curiosity are making me wanna open my eyes, wake up. I'm trying to open them just to find it to bright so I have to close them again.

"I think he is gonna wake up soon, Donnie" Says the voice that I recall as Mikey's. He has a bit more happiness in his voice but still far from what I'm used to. Why is he so depressed?

"Raph?" The other voice says that I recall as Donnie's. My eyes are opening again and closing again and I'm trying to sit up while puttin' a hand on my head.

"Did someone take the number plate of the truck that hit me?" I'm asking while moaning of the pain in my head.

"You're finally awake!" Mikey's saying more joyful now.

"Mikey go and tell Master Splinter that he's awake."

"But, I wanna talk to Raph."

"You can do that later, now go."

"Oh… Fine I go"

When I've managed to sit up pain is striking instantly and my body is folding as a reflex and my body refuses to move even an inch more. I'm laying my back against the wall for support before I give it a third try of opening my eyes. I still have my hand on my head and I feel a bandage. I fallow it back with my hand just to feel what it's covering.

"Raph…" Don's saying but stopping.

"What the… hell?" My hand is tracking the bandage and I finally found what it is covering. My left eye. Fear is striking as I star to panic and both my arms are up and trying to tear of the bandages.

"Raph! Raph!" Don's saying and tries to stop me. "RAPH!" He's screaming and taking both my arms but the wrist. I'm looking at him with confusion. "Raph stop it." He says with a calm and sad voice.

"What happened? Why are my eye… Am I blind?!"

He's letting go of my arms and taking one step away while lowering his head.

"I'm sorry, but… yes you are"

Shock is striking me and I don't know if I believe him or not. I'm lookin' at him and I realize that my sight is not as wide as it's supposed to be. While the sight in my right eye are clearing up I can see Don more clearly, and the sight is not as I expect it to be.

"Hey Don, are you alright?" I'm asking now concerned.

He's looking at himself and then up at me and gives me a small smile that are fading pretty quick. "Yeah well… I've been better. It's just a broken arm and a few broken ribs and cuts and bruises, nothing much."

"Well that sounds pretty much to me" I'm saying with a bit of anger.

"It's nothing compare to you and Mikey."

"Mikey? What happened to Mikey? Where is he?" I'm looking around and find myself in the infirmary.

"He's telling Master Splinter that you're awake."

"How is he? Is he okay?"

"Yes, he's as fine as he can be… " He is looking down and a small sob is coming from him before he look back up at me. I can't really place his expression; he seems angry, full of hate and despair and still sad, betrayed and lost.

"What happened?" I'm asking now more severe and fearing what he's about to say. Don's never have that expression and I can't imagined it to be a good sign.

"His arm… It was chopped off…" He's head are falling down to the floor once again to avoid my eye contact, my reaction. I'm looking at him stunned, not believing what I'm hearing. Mikey with just one arm? How is he gonna play his video games? How will he be able to use his nun chucks? How will he be able to do anything with just one arm? Who dare to do that to my baby brother?

"How…" Somehow I already know how, but still I can't believe it. My mind is screaming inside of me how it happened, but I won't believe it until I have gotten an answer.

"Leo…"

"Wait where's Leo? Is he here? I know I saw him, his alive!"

Don's looking at me with a bit of surprise and then is lowering his head again so I can't see his eyes.

"Leo's not here, Raph" He's saying with nothing else than anger and despite.

"But…"

"Don't you remember anything that happened up there a week ago?!" He's screaming now.

"A week?" I'm asking confused. "Have I been out for a week?"

"Yes a week, a whole fucking week!" He's screaming angry. And when Donatello is swearing you can bet your life that is dead serious. "Leo's gone! He went away with the Foot; he almost killed you, Mikey and me! He's gone!"

"Leo was the one that chopped off Mikey's arm?"

It becomes quiet. My mind is full of doubt. Leo would never do that, he would never kill us, he lived to protect us. How could this happen?

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I'm gonna update as soon as possible!

And PLEASE, if you have any ideas of what can happen, please tell me!

I need some help! =D


	10. Chapter 10

Here I go again, sorry it's so short. Please! Still need help!! =D

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Chapter 10: Peace

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I remember voices; I can't place them or remember who it belonged to. Neither can I place them from where or when, cause it was so long ago. I remember the feeling of pain and then it went numb. Something died and then I was surrounded by darkness, feeling nothing. It was silence, quiet, not a sound. And then thoughts echoed, memories played themselves and then everything died as soon as it had begun. Feelings, some of them that I can name and others that I can't even describe. And then finally peace.

Peace felt good. I remember how comfortable everything felt. I remember that there was no worry, no pain and no emptiness. Everything that I once knew, everyone that I once cared about was in safe hands. I had done what I was supposed to do. That this was my time.

But then pain entered the peace and ripped it away. The meaning of peace was crushed in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years…

----------------------

Time had no meaning, at least not until I first opened my eyes. I did feel nothing, except of the pain. Everything hurt every little limp in my body. But what hurt the most were my eyes as they tried to adjust to the light. First I saw nothing but a blur, but as they closed, opened, closed and opened again I could see a bit more clearly.

I didn't know where I was or who I was, everything was gone. All I remembered was that peace no longer existed, and I wanted to go back there.

Water surrounded me, it neither warm nor cold. Behind the glass that the water was contained in stood a woman. She had black hair and sapphire green eyes. She said something cause her mouth were moving and her lips formed the words.

As tiredness came to me I welcomed it with open arms.

--------------------------

The coldness, the emptiness and the soundless, that's what I feel. Somewhere along the way I have lost the memories of a time I once knew. I'm walking clueless along the way; sometimes darkness interrupts my thoughts, thoughts of a world that is long gone. Still I wish to go back there, to the world where I was loved and free to do what I wanted, the word that I will never forget.

Peace.

This world is cold, and I'm bound to do things that I feel is wrong. But it's not my call to say otherwise. I obey the master's orders; do what I have to do to make the job done. Nothing shall stand in my way as I'm heading for my goal.

I command the troops, the ninjas, the elites. My word is law, as I'm the third in command. This is my place in this world, to do what I'm told so I finally can rest in peace.

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Hope I can update soon, it depends on if I know what's gonna happen next.

Please help me if you have any ideas of what can happen!!


	11. Chapter 11

Here I go again ^^ Still need help though, so please give me some ideas of what can happen!! I really need it!

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Chapter 11: Assignment

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So many things jet so unclear, the knowledge that I seek is slipping even further away from me. I've done what I've been told to do, steal when I've been told to steal and kill when I've been told to kill. But just cause of a tiny mistake, I haven't been granted to go to peace. Ignoring the pain isn't getting any easier because of my mistakes. But as a ninja I'm bound to ignore it and get the job done. I don't know how long this has been going on as time doesn't mean anything to me.

The door slides open and a Foot soldier is stepping in and bowing before speaking.

"Ryu, you have a new assignment."

I'm standing up from my try of meditation and taking the scroll he is holding.

"Leave now!" I'm commanding and opening the scroll to read.

"Mistress Karai says; don't screw this up" He says before the door is closing.

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Night had fallen a few hours ago and I'm moving to precede the new assignment that I've been given to do alone. If I screw this one up The Shredder will be not but unpleased, and what I've learned after all this time you do not mess with him. A lot of people have made that mistake and I'm not going to be one of them.

Moving through the city at this hour is easy. Even if its night this city never sleeps, but it's rarely that one bother looking up to see if someone's moving on the roof of the buildings. But still I'm moving in the shadows that the roofs are giving me, and sometimes I have to cross light to get over to another building. I have always been good at moving unseen and unnoticed, which I've been trained for and which I just have the natural talent too.

It's taking me less than an hour to get to the location. I'm looking at my surroundings if an unpleasant surprise that wouldn't be me is close. And when I'm not finding any I'm walking down the fire escape to the apartment. It's dark except of the TV that's on and two other light sources further in into the apartment. When I'm not seeing anybody I'm opening the window as cautiously as I can and then stepping in to the living room. I'm grateful for the TV as it's drowning the sound from the city before I close it. I'm looking at my surroundings while staying hidden in the shadows waiting.

A shadow is moving in the room next to the kitchen and after a few seconds a woman are stepping out of the room and closing the door behind her as quiet as she can. She's going into the light of the TV and exposing her young face, her green eyes that show nothing but happiness and her red hair that are framing her face. She's heading for the couch but stops as she's noticing my presence.

She turns around and looking at me, "Raph you know you shouldn't be here, you're injured." I'm not answering, just standing in the shadows until she'll approach. "Raph?" She asks and coming closer but hesitates when I'm not answering. "Don? Mikey is it you?" She goes and turn on the light and in milliseconds the shadows disappears. She jumps back a little and both fear and shock is written on her face. "Leo!" She says and taking a few steps back, heading for the room she just came out from.

That name again. Why are they always saying that name as soon as they sees me? What does it mean? Those three green turtles did call me that too. Is it my name? I don't know, I can't remember. What happened to me? Where am I from? Why won't peace… It hurts, the pain is back. My head, it hurts!

When I'm coming out from my little breakdown, I found that I have my hands on my head, shaking. I'm looking up and find that my vision is clear now, I must have blacked out for a few seconds, and that the woman is gone. The door to the room isn't shut closed anymore. I'm unsheathing my katanas and walking to the room. Inside it I can hear her voice whispering in both panic and fear.

"… He's here now Don!"

"Mommy what's going on?" Another voice is asking, and it sounds just like a little child.

I'm pushing the door open and the light are filling the room, leaving the darkness only to the shadows. It became quiet as soon as the door opened, but the silence broke as the other person on the phone speaks up.

"April you have to get out of there now! We're coming as soon as we can!" And then it hung up.

"Come out!" I'm demanding and stepping in to the room knowing exactly where they are.

"Mommy I'm scared!" The little boy cries.

"Sschy!" The woman stands up, pushing her son protectively behind her and unsheathing the katana she has in her hand. "When mommy says `now' you run for the living room and then out of the building, okay?" The woman says with a whispering voice but I can clearly hear her.

The boy just nods and is prepared to run. The woman lunches at me attacking with all she has. Quickly I'm blocking her attempt of push me off my feet, but instead she's forcing me back into the living room.

"Now, run!" She's screaming and running into the living room.

I can see the little boy running scared out of his room and trying to get to the door. But hesitates as he sees me more clearly now. Something in his face tells me that he recognizes me, but still that I'm a complete stranger. He has doubt, and that is making him stay.

I'm turning my attention back at the redhead woman. She's coming at me with all the strange she has in her small body and she has some skills. But I can quickly point out her mistakes and take it as an advantage. She's coming at me too strong and with only one determination in her mind, save her son. But she's not paying any attention to her surroundings cause he is still in the room, watching every move.

"Why are you doing this Leo?" The woman asks me while hitting her katana against both of mine.

All these questions are driving me crazy. That name, I hate it! All these last fights I've been called that, and why? I don't know them, I have never seen them before in my life! Those that call me that shall die!

She hits again and this time I'm going to get this over with. I'm locking her sword in mine so she can't move. Panic and fear rise in her eyes as we get eye contact. Her green eyes. A kick in her stomach and she's being send all the way across the room. She hits the wall hard which is shown in the scream that fallows.

Dropping her sword on the floor and I'm walking across the room. She looks up at me, scared, panic, sorrow and of course doubt. The boy has already started crying and is running to his mother. But the woman is pushing her son away, trying to make him run away. But the effort is unnecessary, he won't leave her side and he is doomed anyway.

"Runaway…" She whispers and trying to stand up. Now I'm standing in front of her looking down at her. She manages to stand up, but just for a second as I'm piercing her side with my katana.

"Mommy!" The boy is screaming and crying hysterical.

She falls back to the wall and I'm pulling out my sword, watching the red liquid that are called blood slipping out from her side. I'm standing there for a few seconds, seeing the boy cry in her arms as she is breathing heavy and slowly slipping away.

"I… I love you… Leo" She's saying to the little boy.

My eyes are drawn to the little boy she just called Leo and my head fills with confusion and I'm forced to take a few steps back. A flash of pain strikes my head and an image comes with it. An image of a time before… A memory.

Panic is filling me and I have to get out of here before anything else gets wrong. I'm turning around, my eyes searching for something. I'm almost done with this assignment, I just need to get this over with. The woman is down, now I just have to…

My eyes are finding what they are searching for, a small mach packet is lying on the table. I'm taking a few and lightening them all before I put everything that is easy ignited on fire. Then I'm moving to the window I first came from and opening the window.

"Wait, don't leave..." The woman's pleading while coughing. I'm looking at her with no emotions at all. The fire has spread pretty quickly and has already set the whole room on fire. The smoke is dying to get out and because I have the window open the black smoke is drawn to me. "Leo, don't go… please don't leave him here…" She's holding her son now close to her, covering his mouth from the dangerous air.

"My assignment doesn't involve him, you I had to kill. And now that's done I have another assignment to proceed; killing the rat." I'm saying and turning to the window.

"Please… Don't leave him. Yes, he's not the one you were supposed to kill. If you leave him, he will die!" She screams now, taking all the fresh air she has left. "And you don't kill innocents people Leonardo" Again that name is dragging my attentions and I'm looking at her sad and frightened face. "Please, just him…"

A strange feeling is filling up in my stomach. The word of it is unknown to me and I have never felt it before, at least I think so. My eyes are falling at the boy once again and for the first time I'm feeling sorry. As one part of me is screaming that I should leave now, that the mission is done, the other part of me is telling me to help the boy. I'm walking through the room while avoiding the fire that are spreading violently and cracking everything it touches. She hugs the boy, whispering something that I can't hear and then she's pushing him away from her.

"No mommy, no! I don't wanna leave you. Mommy!" The boy's screaming and trying to get to his mother again but I'm stopping him by lifting his shirt. "Let me go, let me go!" He's continuing to scream and struggling to make me drop him or let him go. I'm sheathing my swords and then putting him under my arm and turns for the window.

I'm getting out from the apartment smoothly, and while I'm out I can hear the firefighters come closer. The boy is both screaming and crying his eyes out while I'm heading over to the other building. His will to fight and struggle have lost its fire as we left the apartment. I'm putting him down in the alley just a few buildings away. And as soon as I dropped him, he is running out to get to the apartment where his mother been left to die in.

That strange feeling is filling me again, and it's making me feel bad. It's another kind of pain, not as bad as leaving the place of peace, but still its pain. Doubt comes with it to, but as a ninja I'm not allowed to feel these things.

The assignment comes to me once again. One is cleared, and one is remaining. I know that the three turtles are coming to help their friend, and while they are trying to help her from a certain death, I'm going after their rat master. I'm walking further in to the dark alley until I get to a manhole and going down to the sewers.

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So there we had it, but now I don't really know what's gonna happen =(

So please! Help me out! I need some ideas =D

Thank you for reading ^^ Yhe next chapter will come when I know what's gonna happen... Hope it will be soon ^^


	12. Chapter 12

Hi again. I'm so sorry for the very long update! The reason for that is that I have had so much to do lately and a few family problems.... But I'm good now, so I hope that you're still with me and still wants to read! =D

I'm sorry this is so short... But at least its something =D

I hope you like it!!!

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Chapter 12: Helpless

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We haven't heard or seen anything from Leo or the Foot for 2 weeks now. But we knew it was only a matter of time before they would show up again. Donnie had upgraded the alarm system just in case Leo would remember the way to the lair. Even though I doubt it cause if he did he would already been down here.

But instead of going after us, he had gone after April. Donnie had picked up the phone and April had told him Leo was there. Both Mikey and I had heard the whole conversation, if you can call it that. And even though we have our wounds, we still insisted to go. After we had pointed out that Donnie was just as wounded as we are and is not cable of taking on Leo or the Foot by himself, he finally agreed to let us come along. I still wouldn't have let him go alone even if he wasn't wounded.

Well, that was ten minutes ago, and now we're on our way to April and Casey's apartment, hoping that we will get there in time. No one spoke during the way to the manhole just one block away from the building. As soon as we reached the surface we could hear the sirens from the fire trucks. I'm jumping up on the fire escape and making my way to the roof, which gives me a better view and my eyes are spotting the burning building.

"No…" The word is coming from my mouth like a whisper while I'm looking at the building where our first and best human friend is in. All the negative thoughts strike me at once and my mind is tellin' me that we're too late.

"This can't be happening…" Donnie is saying with fear in his shaking voice.

"Maybe they're alright, you know… Leo was there, maybe he helped them…" Mikey's saying trying to stay positive.

Anger forces itself to get to me and for a second I'm lettin' it to do just so. I'm running to the edge of the building and jumps over to the second roof until I have just one building between me and the burning one. Donnie and Mikey is right behind me, probably thinking the same thing. I can see the firefighters busting in the building and trying to reach up to April and Casey's apartment.

"Let me inside! My wife's in there ya bastards!" I'm turning to the street and see Casey screaming' and trying to fight off two firemen that is holding him back. Behind him is little Leo sitting on the ground, crying and screaming.

"Is April still in there?" Mikey's asking with fear in his voice.

I turn my eyes on the burning building, knowing that there is nothing that I can do. Slowly I'm starting to shake of anger and fear. Inside my mind I'm screaming at myself to move, to jump into the flames and seek her out, to save her. Our first human friend is inside and probably is dead by now and I'm just standing here.

Finally I'm moving out from my paralyzing mind and I have decided to go in and rescue our friend. But as I'm about to move I hear voices screaming from the building, and not soon after they are running out to the street, carrying someone in their arms.

"They found her!" Donny says with both shock and relief, but still some fear in his tone.

I realize that I'm looking at him in disbelief before my eyes are turning down to the street where the people are standing. Casey is jumping into the ambulance with little Leo in his arms and then the ambulance takes off, the siren's echoing as it driving away.

"Do you think she's okay?" Mikey asks carefully a bit over a whisper.

"I don't know Mikey…" Don answers in the same tone.

We're standing there a few minutes more, watching how the whole building is getting swallowed by the fire, and then it collapse. I can't understand that it's my brother's work, I just can't understand it! April and Casey's whole life was in that building and now it's gone. And we don't even know if April's alive for the matter. God how I wish all this is just a horrify nightmare! Please wake me up!

"We should go home… before someone sees us" Donny says and put his hand on my shoulder.

A soft nod is my only answer and I'm lookin' at the building once again before turning to my brothers. Both Mikey and Donny has tears in their eyes but they're trying to hold them back and be strong.

A ringing sound is bringing everyone attention and Donny is picking up his Shellcell. For a second I'm guessing that it is Casey that's calling and is gonna tell us about the situation with April, and I know that that is everyone else's first thought. But the look in Donny's eyes tells me that it isn't.

"What is it?" I'm finally asking inpatient.

"It's Master Splinter…" He says while looking at the screen.

"Then answer" Mikey says.

"I can't… Something's wrong… It's the security alarm… " He says and giving us a serious face. "He may be in danger!"

I don't think I have ever reacted as fast as I did now. Taking a quick spin and then I'm off in a run. This was all a trap, and now I'm guessing that Leo have made his way to get Master Splinter. It seems like when one thing is over; a next one is there to take its place.

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To Be Continued....

So what do you think?  
I still need a lot of help, so if you know anything that you want is gonna happen, please tell me and it maybe will!

So please **Review**!


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi again!! Sorry for the long wait... Still my computer is struggling.... Not fun at all when I know what to write and not be able to do so. But hey, now I'm back ^^**

**Thanks for the reviews and the ideas!! Keep it up =D**

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Chapter 13: Blame

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We're runnin' away from the burning, remaining rubbish of April and Casey's apartment building. The whole sky is filled with black smoke and even though we're a block away from the building, it still stings in my eyes from the smoke. There is nothin' more we can do for our friends, only hope and pray that April's gonna be okay. Even though I don't like it, I have to leave it to the police and the doctors.

We have to get back to the lair and help Master Splinter. I'm runnin' as fast as I can and my body is screamin' of pain and exhaustion. My wounds haven't healed and I can feel the pumping in the wounds. None of us is supposed to be out here and I can only hope that we're not makin' it worse.

No one's speakin' on the whole way, we already knows what the others are thinkin' and somehow I'm hopin' we're wrong. I don't understand it and I'm done trying. If Master Splinter is hurt then Leo's gonna pay big time.

I can finally see the door to the lair. We all stop and we all can hear voices from inside. I'm growin' more impatient as the door is slowly openin'. I have my Sais ready in my hands, just waitin' to attack the intruder. The door didn't have to open to the fullest before we all are runnin' in not really know what to expect. A few steps into the lair and then we're seein' Master Splinter hit Leonardo on the back of his head and he is fallin' limp on the floor.

"What the…" Mikey's sayin' from behind me.

I'm lookin' stunned at my brother that is lying on the floor. Yeah I know this is getting old, but what would you expect? First we all are just standing there, watchin' his limp body on the floor, then Master Splinter stumbles backwards and he's fallin' down in a sittin' position, blood fallin' on the floor.

"Master Splinter!" Donny's yellin' and running to his side, checking for wounds.

"Master Splinter?" Mikey's asking with fear in his voice like a little child. He's sitting next to him and Donny, making sure that he is staying out of Donny's way.

"Donny?!" I'm asking or more demanding.

"He has a bad wound on his left side, I have to stop the bleeding!" He's explaining and making Splinter lie down. "Help me get him into the infirmary!"

Quickly I'm lifting Splinter up and carrying him into the infirmary. I can feel the sticky liquid under my feet when it's dripping from the wound. Just by feeling that I know it's bad. As soon as I'm entering the room, Donny's running past me and starting to run around and gathering all the stuff he needs. I'm walking to the table under the big lamp in the middle of the room and carefully lying Splinter down on it and taking my hands at the wound and put pressure on it. Mikey's coming in after and is looking at Donny, tears in his eyes.

As soon as Don has gathered his stuff he is running to the table and starts fixing the wound. I'm helping as much as I can but I'm not good in these situations. I'm the fighter and not the one that stays calm. Blood is the only thing in my mind. It's confusing; when Leo died I could and was blaming The Shredder, Karai and the Foot. And now if Master Splinter dies then I can and will blame The Shredder, Karai, the Foot and Leo.

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A couple of hours has past and Donny has done all he can for Master Splinter. He says that he had a nasty cut on the

A few hours has past and Donny have done all he can. He says that he has lost a lot of blood and when none of us can give some blood then it's not much more we can do. All we can do is hope that it is enough and that Master Splinter will survive. But because he is so old then we might hope for a lost cost.

And as for Leonardo, he is now restrained to some pipes in the main room. He is still unconscious and the hit to the head wasn't meant to hurt him so he is fine, much to my disappointment. Now I'm sitting across the room, watchin'him. Mikey's watchin' Splinter.

"Hey, Donny" I'm saying and the waitin' for him to come out from the kitchen. He pops his head out the door.

"Yeah?"

"How did he get in here? I thought you upgraded the security system!" My voice is rough and I'm not taking my eyes of the intruder.

I hear Donny makin' his way over here and he is standin' next to me, watchin' Leo also.

"I don't know."

"There's somethin' I just can't figure out, if he knew the way to the lair, then why did he take so long to come here? And why didn't he bring the Shredder?" I'm lookin' up at Donny, to see his reaction.

"Well…. I don't know" He's saying while crossing his arms and then puttin' one hand under his chin, looking down while thinking. "I'm taking a blood sample."

"What? Why?"

"I want to know if it's really him or if it's a trick. Dead people just don't come back to the living." Donny's going to the infirmary.

My eyes are fallin' back on Leo. As I'm watching him rage is building its way back. Thinkin' of what he has done to my brothers, my father and my friends make me want to kill him. I want him to pay and right now I don't care if he is the real Leo or not.

Donny's coming back with a shot in his hand and walking straight to the unconscious Leo. The needle is slippin' through his skin and is taking some red liquid from his arm. I can't help to think that Leo should winch or somethin'. He never liked shots, he was terrified of them, he never said it but we all knew.

"How long will it take before we know?" I'm asking when Donny's finished.

"An hour, maybe less." Donny's turning around and is walking to his lab.

"What do we do if it is really him?"

Donny's suddenly freezing and is standin' put on the spot, lookin' down. For a few seconds he isn't sayin' anything and I'm about to ask him again when he answers.

"If it's really him…. Then I don't know"

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**TBC......**

**That was it for now... But more is coming soon!**

**Still needs help and ideas, so if you come up with something please tell me. ^^**

**And please review!!**


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